At first there was question as to whether the chef would make it over, as he was still filming and I guess had been stopped by many fans along the way. A man of his word, Chef Irvine did indeed show up and was extremely kind and appreciative that all of us had waited for him. So often you hear stories of celebrities having a different personality in real life or being too ‘big’ to bother with fans but that couldn’t be further from the truth here. Robert Irvine is as funny and warm-hearted in person as he is on his show. It would’ve been all too easy (and understandable!) for him to say, after a long day of shooting, “Sorry, I can’t make it”. Obviously he didn’t say that and we were so grateful for his time!

I swear Amanda and I aren't drooling or anything!

My other blogging pals have covered in great detail the interesting tidbits and stories he shared with us, so I’ll simply direct you to ThemeParkMom, DisneyEveryDay and DisneyFoodBlog for more information and pictures.

Something I never thought I would hear from a celebrity of any sort, was that they had my picture on their computer! Now before you go getting the wrong idea, let me explain. Back in February, several Walt Disney World Moms Panelist friends and many other bloggers converged on Disney property for the first annual Disney Social Media Moms Celebration. The event coincided with the Give a Day Get a Disney Day celebration and Chef Irvine was there filming a very special episode of Dinner: Impossible featuring some of the program volunteers and of course, Disney princesses.

This is Chef holding my phone and talking about the picture on my blog!

As we were strolling through Epcot’s World Showcase, my family and Moms Panelist Kathie Flood‘s family happened to see Chef at the American Adventure pavilion. We waved and he came walking right over to talk with us. We took a few pictures and I blogged about it. When that February visit came up in Friday night’s conversation, I showed him the picture from ZannaLand on my phone he immediately exclaimed, “I have that picture on my computer!” I thought he was joking at first, but he explained how he has several photos in a screensaver on his desktop and mine was “right there in the middle!” I was blown away! I shared the news with Kathie and she said it made her night too as I know she is a huge Robert Irvine fan. As you can see, Chef Irvine is truly one of a kind and all in attendance were just so grateful for his generosity.

That would be "Casualty" he's showing us...

Oh, and did I mention he bought us all tequila shots? Yes. This was the very good stuff…but being the lightweight that I am I could only do a sip! We would’ve been happy just spending some time with him but again, he went above and beyond and made us all feel special. Each fan that came up was able to get a photo or two and a word – even indulging requests to ‘show us his guns’ as we all swooned at his famous biceps (which he let us know were named “Casualty” – on the right and “Cemetery” – on the left because “If I hit you with Cemetery, you won’t be waking up” not that I’d ever think this gentle giant would hurt a fly!) Chef also shared with us that his next adventure was flying to Canada for the Make a Wish Foundation – one of his three charities of choice, the other two being armed forces and veterans. He said he’s loved coming to Disney for the past 4 years because of the people and how everyone works so hard to make it such a wonderful place. Chef Irvine was truly a class act, gracious and imploring us to do something nice for someone we don’t know, each day, to make the world a better place. Will do, Chef. Will do.

Huge thanks to Robert Irvine for a wonderful evening! If you’re in the Hilton Head, SC area, look for Robert Irvine’s eat! to experience some of Chef’s recipes first hand. Also be sure to watch for his new series Restaurant: Impossible, coming soon!!

ZannaLand Disney Dooney & Bourke Photo Contest Info:

1. Take a picture of your Disney Dooney & Bourke – your favorite, your whole collection, by themselves, with people or pets – the ideas are endless and you are only limited by your creativity! Don’t have a Disney D&B? What about a pic of you with a sad face? Get creative!
2. Email me your best shot (one per person please), I’ll post all of the entries here, then readers will vote on a winner.
3. The contest winner will then get to choose what color wristlet they receive (of available wristlets in Walt Disney World up to $49 in value – sorry I can’t produce a Disney Cruise Line or Disneyland wristlet!).

Send one photo entry to zanna@zannaland.com by Thursday, September 30 2010. I will then post the entries and voting will commence (info to follow on voting). Help spread the word on twitter, facebook and anywhere else you’d like – the more pictures the more fun we’ll have!

Ready to hit me with your best shot? Go!

Have I mentioned I love celebrations? I really do. It’s part of why I love December so much, it has my birthday AND Christmas 2 weeks after that. I’d celebrate something every day if it meant balloons and decorations and lots of pixie dust too of course. (I did briefly consider becoming a wedding planner just for the joy excitement of planning amazing parties…then I watched Bridezillas. )

Anyway, my friend and fellow Walt Disney World Moms Panelist Doug Ingersoll has been generous enough to donate not one but TWO codes to download his all new Walt Disney World Complete Travel Guide app for the iPhone or iPod Touch!

But wait, there’s more! (Sorry, no steak knives) The incomparable Lou Mongello of WDW Radio and Celebrations magazine fame (as if he needs an introduction?) has graciously given me a prize pack featuring some of his amazing theme park Audio Guides, issues of Celebrations Magazine AND his Walt Disney World Trivia Book. How cool is THAT??

How do you get a chance to win these fabulous prizes you ask?

Quite simply, just comment below and you’re entered to win!

Additional entries may be earned by:

• RT’ing about the contest on twitter (be sure to use @zannaland in your tweet so I can see it)
  
• Sharing on facebook or anywhere else – message boards, email groups, the possibilities are endless! Just link me to it here
  
• “Liking” the  ZannaLand facebook group
  
• Joining Networked Blogs on facebook
  
• Joining Google Friend Connect (join in the box to the bottom right of the main site)
  
• Subscribing to our RSS feed or via email (box on the right of the main site)
  

If you’re already a member or subscriber, just let me know in a comment and I’ll count that too.

I only ask that you leave a separate comment for each entry, because that’s really the only way I can track entries and give you credit for each item. I apologize to my Canadian and International readers but this giveaway is only open to US mailing addresses.

I will be giving away 2 codes for the Walt Disney World Complete Travel Guide app, 1 set of all 3 Lou Mongello Audio Guides, 1 set of two Celebrations magazines, and 1 Walt Disney World Trivia Guide, for a total of FIVE prizes to win.

Giveaway ends July 9, 2010 at 11:59pm.

Thank you again for all your support and readership this past year, and special thanks to Doug and Lou for providing the prizes you are hoping to win!

It’s no secret that ZannaLand has changed since its inception. In fact, when it first started there was nary a mention of Mickey and his Florida home. Originally this was a place where I sold a zine I wrote, entitled, “Zanna, Do!” all about my life as a slacker and how I was still searching for my dream job. That was in 2004, right after the sudden death of my father, after I had just turned 30 a couple of months prior. It had been my dream to be a writer since I could first put sentences together. I still have some very funny stories I wrote in grade school, summer camp, and high school which, while embarrassing to read now, bring me back to a time when I wasn’t afraid of failure or rejection. I just wrote. Then I got to college and decided to major in Creative Writing for Children and was suddenly hit with this daunting fear of “What if I fail?”. For a long time, that’s all I thought about, and decided if I didn’t try, I couldn’t fail. I then moved on to Travel & Tourism Management and living in Florida: briefly working for Disney and moving up from travel agent to manager of an Orlando area agency. I got married, had two of my children, and my dream of writing faded even further into the distance. Suddenly I was a mom first and any other ambitions went out with the diaper genie trash.

As I mentioned above, I turned 30, and two months later, my father was gone. Suddenly the little voice I’d tried to silence for so long in the back of my head was screaming at me – “Do something!”. So I wrote that zine. It seemed like a failure-free way to start out. I was publishing it myself, mailing it out to people online that wanted to read it, and even getting some independent book store distributors to sell it. It led to me writing an essay for a book that was published in 2005 entitled “If Women Ruled the World.” My piece was very fluffy and tongue-in-cheek and published alongside serious commentary on women in the world. It was exciting nonetheless. Anyway, life took over and I once again left my writing behind to carry on as a mom first and foremost. A few years passed and we relocated to Tampa, I had our third child, and as you most likely are aware, discovered twitter.

My story from that point on is well known; embracing my dreams of writing and being involved with Disney has been the best risk I ever took. Truly, I could not have been as ambitious as I was without the almost-instant support of everyone I came in contact with online. Rather than hearing “Don’t bother, there are a million and one Disney blogs out there…” I heard “Go for it, you can do it!”. Rather than hearing “The odds are against you getting on the WDW Moms Panel…” I heard, “You’d be perfect! Good luck!” And yes, my application experience was a little different because I thought I didn’t make it to the 2nd round but then I did – but sometimes technology is unreliable. Even Laura Spencer herself thought she didn’t make it to the phone interviews until right before they happened.

There will always be those that say I was picked because I was so vocal about my dreams on twitter and my blog – and yes, I was obsessed. I don’t recommend it to anyone because it truly was a 1 in 20,000 chance that I would get chosen and the odds were against me. I thought I hadn’t  made it and yes, I was crushed. I learned during those few days that it’s great to have goals, but you have to be able to adjust them if they aren’t within your power to achieve. I couldn’t *make* Disney pick me, no matter how bad I “wanted it”. I had done my best and had just gotten to the point where I was able to move on (great thanks to everyone that I leaned upon during that time, I will never forget how you all tried to lift my spirits), when I got the 2nd email telling me there was a mistake. It wasn’t a 2nd chance – it was a mistake. Obviously, my emotions were all over the place at that point and I truly can’t say how I wouldn’t handled it if I made I then didn’t make it to round 3 or the finals. But fate had different plans and I did make it to round 3, on to the phone interviews and (obviously) the panel.

As thankful and grateful as I was after getting off that phone call, a part of me never really stopped to realize what an accomplishment it actually was and to soak that in. Part of me always had my own sense of self-doubt that I had ‘bugged’ my way onto the panel. Logically though, even I can see how ridiculous that is. Why would a multi-billion dollar company choose me out of tens of thousands of entries just to ‘shut me up’? The simple answer is, they wouldn’t. The team behind the Walt Disney World Moms Panel application process doesn’t enter lightly into their choices. And while I’m never going to be the one to say, “yeah, I’m pretty awesome” the fact that Disney thought I was worthy enough to be welcomed onto this panel, is an honor to be celebrated. It has, in fact, been an amazing journey and the friends I’ve made along the way have made it all the sweeter.

Now lets get back to the blog! Once I made the panel, I was kind of in a place of limbo with the blog. Will writing it interfere with my role on the Moms Panel? Should I step away from Disney topics and attempt to be a “mom blogger”? I chose the latter and soon found out it wasn’t for me. I have great respect for mom bloggers and the real-life topics they share with all of us trying to be successful parents. I have even greater respect for those that can be completely real, dirty laundry and all, all with amazing wit and wisdom thrown in. I tried to be involved in networks and ‘get myself out there’ as much as I could. However, I soon found that blogging the same giveaways 100 other moms were posting was not for me. I had built my community of readers up by sharing my experiences and love of Disney, and now I was trying to tell them about this exciting new product. I felt like I wasn’t being true to myself. So I again returned to Disney-centric posting.

Then a funny thing happened, my adorable little baby that was crawling around suddenly started walking and talking and running and wanting to get into everything all.the.time. My older kids had a lot going on at school too and my time to blog was suddenly reduced to maybe two hours a day…and in those same two hours I had to take a shower, keep up with laundry, clean the house and once April came around, answer questions on the Moms Panel. I know thousands of women do all this and more daily, but I just couldn’t keep up and actually get any writing done. There were (and are) multiple days in a row when I just can’t update the site. Then, of course, I get anxious. “OMG everyone’s going to delete my site from their feed, stop reading, move on, and forget about me!” And yes, I am admitting that I fear that. I am not making any money from this site and I’m not in it for ‘fame’ or ‘celebrity’ in fact it makes me cringe when I see pictures or video of myself, even though I love the opportunities that take place to hang out with the other people in those pictures and videos. What I was and am in it for is to fulfill my dream of writing. I’ve made some strides there and have been incredibly grateful for the breaks I’ve been given to be a guest author and now a contributing author at Whoa, Momma! Being on the Moms Panel has also been amazing and every time I log on to answer questions, I get a smile on my face.

So, where does that leave me? Well, I’ve never been an “information only” blog. I will share news or reviews but 99% of the time I still throw my personal spin on it. The thing about blogging is you want to share your stories with others. You want people to read and connect and interact. And once you get a little of that, it does become a little addictive. It’s hard not to think, how can I reach more people? How can I get more readers? And as noted, I do have down days where I want to give it all up. This blog will always be a personal blog for better or for worse. There are 100′s or even 1000′s of blogs and sites that will tell you the latest and greatest Disney news – and they are wonderful. ZannaLand will never be one of those sites.

What I will do is tell you how walking down Main Street, USA looking up at Cinderella Castle at night still gives me chills. I’ll tell you about my interactions with Dreamfinder in 1983 and how he and Figment wanted to connect the dots on my freckles. I’ll tell you about my when my two oldest children were little and their faces lit up at the ‘snow’ and lights at the Studios or how my youngest ran to the window of Animal Kingdom Lodge and yelled out “RAFFE!” as he saw his first live giraffe through the windows. In between, I’ll share some tips and other experiences that may make your vacation more enjoyable. Maybe I’ll give some things away. Maybe I’ll share some other bloggers with you, or other travel destinations I think you may enjoy. My point is, you’ll get me, my personal experiences and then some. And I wouldn’t have it any other way. Hopefully, you’ll find something you can identify with and share back with me, because we’re just getting started.

Thank you for reading.

…

Some other news – I am now an official contributing author at TampaBay.com’s Whoa, Momma! blog. I know I mentioned I was writing articles for them before, but now I’m all permanent-like and my name’s on the header and my author bio’s on the side. Yee haw! Pretty darn cool and I am extremely grateful and honored that the fine ladies over at Whoa, Momma! for taking a chance on me. You can read my latest post on Activities Off the Beaten Path at Disney there now, with more to come in the coming weeks. Some pieces may even be picked up by the St. Petersburg Times and in turn their news wire and show up in your local paper.

I’ve mentioned on twitter but I know not everyone is there – I have also written a couple of guest posts for Mr. Hidden Mickey Guy himself, Steven Barrett. Again, the honor was mine and if you told me a year ago I’d be doing either of these things, I’d have laughed and said “yeah, right!” I’m so very grateful. You can read my post on Disney After Dark and Staying Cool in the Summer at Disney over on his site.

And of course, you can find me over at DisneyWorldMoms.com where I’ll be answering questions for a few more weeks. I’d love to get a question from a reader to answer on the panel! Just click on the “ask Suzannah a question” link on my WDW Moms Panel bio page.

If you are looking for other ways to stay connected, you can find me on twitter @zannaland, or the facebook page for the site: facebook.com/zannaland (close to 500 members now!) over there you can post comments or questions on the wall, interact with other Disney fans, add pictures to the group photo album and keep up with all the blog entries as well. I’d love to see more of you!

Thank you so much for reading!

If you’ve met me in real life, you also know that shy and socially awkward are probably the first two impressions that come to mind. There’s a reason I write! However, after several meetings or perhaps an adult beverage, I do mellow out and relax. That said, hanging around my fellow bloggers and media mavens, I finally get that concept of:  “What’s the worse they can say? No? Then you move on!“

So it was channeling one of those very bloggers that gave me the confidence to approach Chef Dundon after meeting him at the Raglan Road Signature Dinner and ask for an interview. As soon as I had the thought, the confidence was there and I knew I could do it. Even if he blew me off and said he was too busy, or was polite and said yes but later blew me off, I was going to DO it. So I did. And guess what? (not hard to guess reading the title of this post!) He said “That would be wonderful!” I spent the rest of the night on cloud 9, if for no other reason than I had made that next step in my new life as a purveyor of fine social media. (Like that title? I just made it up.)

Anyway, now you know the story behind the story and it is with great pleasure and honor that I present the following interview to you, my readers, and hope you enjoy it. Here’s a little more about Kevin Dundon’s background:

Kevin Dundon is the Chef/Proprietor of Dunbrody Country House Hotel & Restaurant, located in Ireland’s sunny South East. Dunbrody was established in 1997 by Kevin and his wife Catherine and has very quickly become a must-see for all foodies. It is now considered to be one of Ireland’s Premier Hotels & Restaurant. Kevin’s runs a cookery school at the hotel as well which already recognised as one of the most respected in the country. (source: KevinDundon.com)

In addition Kevin is the Chef/Patron of Raglan Road which has two locations, Downtown Disney in Orlando and Kansas City, MO. Given that Chef Dundon has cooked for none other than Her Majesty, The Queen and Bono, I think it goes without saying that Raglan Road will not disappoint. He is also author of two cookbooks: Full on Irish: Creative Contemporary Cooking and Great Family Food. Is there another in the works? Read on…

Because of my new position taking effect now, my time is a bit limited but I’ll still be here posting as much and as often as I can. The book giveaway I mentioned on twitter will be a bit delayed, but I’ve got some other things coming up you won’t want to miss. As for the Vinylmation giveaway, I’ll be using random.org to pick the winners tonight and announce them as an edit to the original entry – so stay tuned! Thank you so much for participating and for reading ZannaLand. This certainly is one heck of a ride! Glad to have you along with me.

There are 2 days left in March, including today – ZannaLand.com is really really close to getting 10,000 page views for the month of March. I’m so amazed by this – I remember when I started I was excited that the site had 10 views a day. Certainly a LOT has happened both on the site and in my life since that time, and I am so grateful for the exciting changes that have taken place.

These are just some of the Vinylmation figures out there - you could win a brand new one!

I would not be here without the wonderful community of readers about which I’m always raving, and although I may not have the budget of Disney, what I’d do in real life is take you out for a coffee and thank you. Since for most readers, I can’t do that without involving airlines and lots of miles, I thought I’d give away 3 gift cards {of various mystery amounts}  for a coffee on me {or tea or whatever else you might like to drink at Starbucks}.

In addition, I’m giving  away a couple of fun surprises – 2 unopened Vinylmation figures! So that’s 5 separate chances to win.  However,  we have to reach that goal first – which means I need your help getting the word out about this giveaway!

To enter the giveaway:

• Comment on this entry.

If you want some extra entries you can also:

• Tweet about this giveaway and comment here with the url of that tweet.
• Post on facebook or anywhere else you’d like to spread the word and let me know here!

I will then add all the entries into random.org and pick the winners there. I can’t wait to see who wins!

Disclosure: I am providing these prizes out-of-pocket and am not being sponsored by Starbucks, Walt Disney World or anyone else for this giveaway. Each comment meeting the above guidelines will be entered to win one of five prizes. Contest ends at midnight PST on March 31st and winners will be announced on April 1st. Good luck!

…

UPDATE: If you did not read on twitter, we surpassed 10,000 views after midnight on March 30th, so we definitely hit our goal and then some by the 31st! Thanks so much!! The winners have been picked at random.org:

$5 Starbucks gift card goes to – Jacqueline Hudson!

$10 Starbucks gift card goes to - icitea!

$15 Starbucks gift card goes to - Stephanie (VertigoDawn)!

1st Vinylmation goes to -Vader’s Mom!!

2nd Vinylmation goes to - Jon (disneylovndad)!!

Congratulations! I will get your prizes mailed out as soon as possible!

Thank you ALL for the amazing participation, for reading, and for spreading the word about ZannaLand. I promise this will not be the last fun giveaway!!

I know I’ve talked a bit in the past on here about the how and why of wanting to write about Disney. To go into a little more detail, it was really because of twitter and the amazing Disney community that lives there. A year ago, I was just a fan connecting with other Disney fans on twitter and discovering that there existed so many sites and blogs about Disney. When the thought occurred to me to change the focus of my blog here to one about Walt Disney World, the support was overwhelming. I never heard a “oh, don’t bother, there are 10,000+ Disney sites out there!” or “it’s already been done, what could you possibly bring to the table?” even though those were exactly the doubts I was having. Quite the contrary, I received cheers and open arms waiting to help. And trust me – I asked for help – a LOT.

I remember begging and pleading for comments and for ReTweets on twitter and getting so discouraged when I wasn’t an instant success. It wasn’t pretty. I had people drop me on twitter because I was promoting my site and myself so much. I’m sure I rubbed some people the wrong way because I do wear my heart on my sleeve. I asked so many of the major bloggers out there {I’m looking at you themeparkmom, MainStGazette, imagiNERDing and StitchKingdom!} “What am I doing wrong? How can I get more people to read my blog?!” And of course the answer was “give it time…”. I was so grateful that each of the people I went to, basically whining, took the time to answer my questions and encourage me to keep going with it. So I did. And they were right. By no means am I on the same level as those bloggers I asked, but I’m sticking with it thanks to them, and sticking with it has led to so many wonderful connections with people that love Disney just as much as I do. I consider myself so lucky every day to have been welcomed into the Disney blogging community and have built up the readership I have so quickly. I have made this a personal site from the start and not just about Disney, but how Disney affects me. And as much as some people didn’t appreciate my personal take on things, I think others found themselves identifying with some of my history and experiences, which is what helped me get where I am today. I know there was a little lapse there as I got my sea legs and thought I could blog about everything but realized that Disney was my passion and what I should stick with. Getting back on track is the best decision I could ever make here.

In embracing my love of Disney and committing to blog about the Parks, Resorts, Special Events and History that I loved, I found even more support, and my community is expanding because of it. It’s funny, in most mediums, there is such stuff competition about who can get the best story and get it first. That exists to an extent within certain areas of the Disney blogging world, I know there are those that report the news and all want to be the first to break a Disney story {Disney is so great for exciting new announcements isn’t it?} and there is probably some behind-the-scenes competition among various podcasts and radio shows which, as a fan, I of course avoid and just try to take in as much info as I can and enjoy it all. However, in regular ol’ blogging about Disney, there is nothing but love. I’ve said many times that it’s all been done, but there’s always a new way to look at an aspect of Disney. You could have 12 blogs covering Cinderella Castle at Walt Disney World and have 12 completely different takes on it. This, I admit, took me a while to figure out.

As a new blogger, you want to get noticed and appreciated and want to be READ of course. So it’s only natural to think, well I need to make sure they are reading ME and not anyone else. This couldn’t be further from the way it is with Disney blogging. You want people to discover other blogs and stories and pictures and videos because they are all just part of the Disney love we all share! A perfect example of this is my good friend, Amanda Tinney, from the fabulous DisneyEveryDay.com.

Amanda and I at Disney's Social Media Moms, I made this graphic for her recent "Disney song in pictures" post.

Amanda found me on twitter over the summer last year. She was just starting her blog then and had already built up an AMAZING amount of followers on twitter and her blog {I still haven’t figured out how she did that, so if you want to send any twitter followers my way, Amanda, feel free! }. She very easily could’ve left me in the dust and said, “see ya later!” but she saw something in me that led her to be one of my biggest champions during the Moms Panel process last year, to the point that she didn’t even apply because she told me she didn’t want to reduce my chances by even one person. I didn’t fully understand this selfless act back then. As I’ve gotten to know Amanda, I’ve seen just how amazing she is and how much she really does want to help not just me, but everyone that’s trying to achieve their dreams. She loves bringing people together, showcasing others and connecting with our community in such a way that no one is left behind. It was such an important lesson for me to learn, and I think, has made all the difference in how I view my place here online and within the Disney community. Of course, Amanda is not alone, there are so many out there on twitter and various other places that really aim to promote ALL that the Disney community has to offer and I am so grateful to have benefited from that support. It’s  now time for me to give back.

Over the next few weeks and months I’ll be showcasing some of the Disney blogs and sites that really spoke to me as I was starting out, and some new discoveries as well. I’ll be spotlighting podcasters and radio show hosts and photographers, all of whom help to make our community so strong. I’ll also be introducing a new ZannaLand weekly round-up feature showcasing other blog posts of interest – which is, in my opinion, part of what makes some of my favorite sites {and the people behind them} so wonderful.

That said, (and I’ve posted this on twitter already) check out the “Your Disney Community” tab above and explore some of the wonderful sites listed there. If you would like to add your site/podcast/radio show/flickr feed/etc. to the page, just leave me a comment or email me at zanna@zannaland.com and I’ll be happy to visit your site and add it to the list.

And to all those who told me I could do this (and you know who you are) and supported me along the way, I thank you from the bottom of my heart and promise to keep moving forward! To new friends, I can’t wait to become a part of your Disney community and share in the magic together.

Readers of ZannaLand may have noticed the not-so-subtle shift from Disney posts to more me/personal/generic posts. This happened both because I combined the MainStreet.Zannaland.com posts here and I really wanted to venture out into the world of Mom Blogs and hopefully get more involved with other bloggers, product reviews and blogging opportunities. I thought – “I can be a REAL blogging mom!” There was only one problem…I had no idea what to blog about.

I’m just not a gifted blogger like some of my friends. I can’t keep things short and sweet and interesting and share-worthy about me. Even as I wrote out my first “all about me” post I looked at it and thought, “Really?! Who is going to want to read this?” {ok, my mom wanted to} And lets be honest, being a successful blogger is often times about the numbers and no one is out there googling “What kind of childhood did Suzannah DiMarzio have?” The result was it was stressing me out. Big time.

I was emailing my blogging friends, desperately asking for help and advice…all the while writing up my life story while I waited for the “oh, here’s how you do it” replies. I’d hit send on my email and be embarrassed for myself, asking such stupid questions when I pretty much knew the answers. I just didn’t know how to come up with the content to keep people interested. I lay awake at night worrying about what the %#&! I was going to write about the next day. Blogging started to feel like a job. I knew something was wrong and it shouldn’t feel like that. I’m sure many people treat blogging like a job, and probably have the income to prove it, but that is not what I set out to do. I wanted to connect with others and share my experiences in hopes of helping others in some way – and make friends along the way. The crazy part was, I’d already done that. It was those connections that cheered me on when I was applying to the Walt Disney World Moms Panel. It was those connections that helped get my blog noticed and out there to begin with. In my eagerness to get to the next big thing, I forgot the big thing I already had.

Before I left for the Disney Social Media Moms Celebration, I actually wanted to give up blogging. The stress was getting to me and I was doing it wrong. I figured I’d give myself till after the conference to decide, and hopefully learn something there that would help set me straight.

And I did. It just wasn’t the answer I thought I was looking for.

I will do recaps of the entire conference experience and the people I met, but this post had to come first. One of the speakers I was most looking forward to hearing was Chris Brogan. I had watched his keynote speech at IZEAFest and of course instantly liked him because he was from Boston. However, I worried that his speech really wouldn’t have anything to do with me. I wasn’t a business, I wasn’t even a successful mom blogger – how could his advice on social media business relationships help ME?

My biggest fear as a blogger was selling out. I didn’t want to become one of those blogs with 200 blinking ads on either side, only talking about the great product I just tried and leaving all my personality and stories on the other side of the screen. When I got up the courage to just introduce myself to Chris at breakfast on Thursday (yes, I said courage, for a shy fat girl with social anxiety, it was a big deal) he asked me, “What do you hope to get out of the speech tomorrow?” We were interrupted by a cast member that needed to whisk Chris away for an interview, but it gave me time to come up with an answer. I later tweeted him that I wanted to know how a new-ish blogger could successfully use social media without “selling out”. I figured he had over 100 other people telling him what they wanted to get out of his presentation as well, and just thought I’d sit back and enjoy his speech.

In absence of a white board, Cinderella Castle works for Chris Brogan

Chris is a smart, witty, engaging speaker. His subtle jokes are the same ones that run through my mind half the day and go over most people’s heads. He opens with the Zulu greeting “Sawubona” which means “I see you.” And he does. There was no person too ‘small’ that Chris didn’t see and connect with. He made sure of it. I will never forget his magic triangle describing Community, Content, and Spnsors, invisibly drawn on the Cinderella Castle backdrop behind him on the stage.

Then he spoke the simple words – “Never alienate your community.” I felt as if that phrase was branded onto my brain. Or rather, as if those words had finally opened my eyes. I had alienated my community, or was at the very least on the path to do so. I had created such a wonderful community of Disney fans and then said, “oh, well, now that you’re here lets talk about my laundry.” Clearly, I had made the wrong choice.

I mulled over that phrase again and again for the remainder of my time at the conference. I tweeted my friend that I was having a blogging identity crisis. I met amazing, wonderful mom bloggers that CAN tell people about their laundry or any other number of topics and get people to listen – and care. I simply am not one of those people. Maybe, in time {and with more time personally}, I could be but right now, it’s just not where I am in the blogging world. Kind of like a rock guitarist that gets a job with an orchestra. You know how to play the music, you know the notes, yet you are never really playing the right song.

Once I had that revelation and made the decision that followed, I was again excited about blogging. I was filled with ideas and new goals to reach. The stress was gone. Even though Chris Brogan stopped short of reenacting James Brown’s scene from The Blues Brothers, shouting “Do you see the light!?” and I stopped short of doing back flips in Grand Republic Ballroom A, I did see the light.

Even if sticking with my niche prevents me from working with certain companies or being open to some opportunities available to a more broad-content blog, that’s okay. If I have my community and my content, the rest will come. And if I make a really cool Xbox Controller Cake and want to share it with you, I will. If my kids do something funny or I have a craft to share, I will. But I will do my best to never alienate you again. {And I’ll just save my childhood stories for my book } I am a mom blogger. I’m a mom that blogs about Disney. And that’s okay.

So thank you, Chris. Sawubona. And I’m so grateful that I did.

More from #DisneySMMoms to come, don’t forget to link up your posts to the Disney Social Media Moms Recap Roundup!

*This post is now part of the Disney Blog Carnival, where you can find a great group of Disney articles!*

Since I can’t ever make things easy, I thought I’d go a step further and make all posts related to this month about me. Yes. Me. Of course I’ve blabbed about myself before, usually in relation to Disney and my memories there, but I thought I’d use this slightly shortened month to talk about myself, either in-depth or just some fluff pieces. A lot of times you stumble across a blog or a person online and you think you know them based on their likes, their recent entries or their tweets. Sometimes what’s visible is only the tip of the iceberg that is the person behind a blog. The way I relate best to people is based on common background or interests. I know I instantly feel a kinship with someone if they say “I love David Bowie!” or “That was my favorite toy as a child!”. Why not expand on that and see just how much we all have in common?

So welcome aboard and stay tuned for some fun (and hopefully interesting) posts all about me. There will probably be additional non-me-related posts this month as well, but I’ll try to do 28 NaBloPoMo posts on their own.  That said – any questions or topic ideas about me you’d like me to touch on? I’m all ears (or eyes really).

According to my archives, I wrote my first entry on this blog on March 5, 2009. It was a pretty silly entry about working on the technical stuff and how I’d soon be updating. Then a month went by and I posted one more time. And another month and I posted a rant about annoying people leading up to Mother’s Day. Then…I decided to make the switch and talk about what I knew, Disney. In June, I started writing semi-regularly about the topic I know and love, Walt Disney World. It’s been both a long 10 months and at the same time feels like the past year flew by.

I went through many changes in a short time with the blog, wondering if I should be all newsy and informative, realizing no one can compete with the amazing Disney news sources already out there, thinking I should be more personal, starting up a sub-blog about personal things, realizing I should just combine the two, and getting to where I am today – a blog about all the things I find interesting and share-worthy about my life, family and the World (Disney World that is). I know a lot more about the world of blogging and social media than when I started, but boy do I still have a lot to learn! And I can’t wait to learn it!

I’m not sure if anyone has read my About Me section, but I thought I’d expand a little bit on it. I’ve actually been writing online for over 10 years now, before it was really called blogging. I started out when I discovered iVillage.com and the due-date message boards they had there for children born in the same month/year. I joined the January 1999 one and soon made a ton of new friends with babies born the same time as my firstborn. There were message boards for pretty much any and every parenting topic as well as women’s issues etc. Members could volunteer to be Community Leaders (CL’s) on the message boards and be in charge of keeping conversations going and welcoming new members. After being a member for a while, I decided to try my hand at leading a few communities.

Around that time, in 2001, iVillage was bought by Hearst Magazines and decided to add many new message boards themed to the various magazines they published, from Good House keeping to Cosmo (with quite shocking topics, in keeping with the Cosmo reputation). I can’t really remember which boards I was hosting now so many years later, because at one time I got up to 14 boards that I led. It was really my escape and my sanity-saver, being a stay at home mom of 2 under 2.

I remember wanting more than anything to be a CM – Community Moderator, which was actually a paid position and you were in charge of deleting inappropriate posts and motivating the CL’s to keep the boards running smoothly. I tried twice in a year to obtain one of those coveted positions, to no avail. (Think of it as the Disney Moms Panel of its time, only a paid position.) I didn’t understand why I wasn’t chosen for it until I learned of the politics and behind-the-scenes things going on. Finally I realized it was just too much drama and was not worth the heartache and headache for something I wasn’t even that passionate about. I do believe everything happens for a reason, and my lack of passion was the lesson I needed to learn at that time. iVillage is now affiliated with NBC/Universal and is I’m sure a completely different animal than it was in 1999 or even 2002. I haven’t even logged onto the site since that time frame so I have no clue what the message boards are like anymore.

Around April of 2002, my best friend asked me to add her as a friend on LiveJournal. It wasn’t until she asked that I realized I had signed up a year earlier but hadn’t done anything with it. Posting there was strange at first; it was like an online diary, and who is used to readers of a diary? I posted there “friends-only” which meant it was not open to the public, only those I added to my list could read what I had to say. Writing on lj was so freeing! I’d been posting for almost 3 years in a venue where you were censored with what words you could say, what topics you could discuss, and worry about community reaction to your words. On LiveJournal I could say anything and no one really cared. In the back of my mind even then, I longed to write publicly, but feared no one outside of my little circle of friends would be interested.

I posted there regularly, building up my ‘friends list’ and joining communities that seemed fun or interesting. I shared stories and pictures of my kids growing up, I started my own separate communities for Orlando residents, weight-loss support, and making graphics. Reading my friends list was a daily necessity as was hitting refresh all day to see what new posts had been written. At one point I had close to 500 followers, which by lj standards was a lot. While there I learned that I was not ‘just a mom’. I was friends with people from all walks of life, with all different lifestyles and cultural backgrounds. People I would never have had a chance to meet otherwise. These same people became my support system, seeing me through my rough times and my triumphs. They were there for me as we moved cross-country 3 times. There for me when my dad got sick and passed away. There for me when I took the plunge into writing and produced my own zine and later got an essay published in a book. I took risks I never thought I’d take thanks to the built-in cheering squad I had. (Twitter users, sound familiar?)

I became so close to some friends, that I actually met up with them in real life. Over the years I met about 20 people that up until that point had just been words on a screen. People came to visit me and I gladly opened my home to them like family and of course showed them around Disney World as well. One particular couple clicked so well with us, they’ve visited from California 3 times – and we asked them to be baby G’s godparents. As a shy person, I never thought I’d be able to just meet up with “strangers”, find out we had so much in common and become friends for life. I have lj to thank for that, for allowing me to take the risks I did both in life and in writing, to advance to the next level in my goals as a person. Having a place to work out the inner thoughts in my mind helped me realize what I wanted to do and where I wanted to go with my life.

That brings us back to blogging and social media. I’d heard about twitter for about a year before really understanding the point of it. Even when I finally signed up, I still didn’t ‘get it’. I abandoned my account for a while, then in March of last year, created the current account I have now,  in hopes of promoting the new blog. Soon I found out that there was a huge Disney presence on twitter. I was adding people right and left and then finding mom bloggers, businesses and even some celebrities to follow.

Within weeks I was again creating connections and even friendships via twitter. It was amazing to me to have people interested in my little 140 character updates and pictures. People actually wanted to read my blog and I loved re-tweeting links or tweets I wanted to share. I remember my ecstatic reaction to Russell Brand actually replying to my tweet to him. Russell Brand! I was equally excited when Disney Parks followed me back. I was actually networking and fostering relationships!

I will admit to going a bit overboard at times on twitter – I am easily excitable and the WDW Moms Panel was a perfect example of that. Once I had it in my mind to achieve that goal, my focus was on getting noticed and sharing my commitment to that goal. Did my constant tweeting about wanting to make the panel help? I’ll never know for sure. I mean, even now that I’m on the panel, I have no more insight into how the panelists are chosen. I am confident in my Disney knowledge and background and made it a personal goal to use and share that knowledge with others. If I hadn’t made the panel, I probably could’ve found 100 reasons why (especially after meeting my fellow panel members with their amazing backgrounds!). I will say this – there are 1000′s of people on twitter with a bigger following/fan base than I have as well as the majority of 2010 panelists not having any real twitter or online presence at all prior to being chosen. More proof that there isn’t any ONE thing Disney is looking for.

So what does the future hold here at ZannaLand? Who knows – and that’s how I like it! Anything is possible, I’ve proven that. I hope to expand my readership here as well as being involved with as many social media and other projects as I can manage. Someday I’ll write that book that lives in my head, but until then, I’m having fun just sharing my memories and life here with all of you. I am so completely beyond excited for the new year with the Walt Disney World Moms Panel and while I have no expectations other than serving my quarter answering questions in April, I welcome any and all opportunities that being a panel member may bring.

Since achieving my goal of making it to the panel and taking part in the training we all experienced, my new goal is to somehow, someway, someday become a Disney cast member again. It’s funny how being a cast member in the theme parks at 22 is an amazing experience, but really doesn’t clue you in to just the sheer number of amazing cast member opportunities that exist at Disney Parks. Getting to see the special events and PR/social media team up close and person gives a girl a whole new set of dreams. Until that magical moment however, I’ll be here sharing my stories, pictures, experiences and reviews with you – and I can’t wait to see what the new year brings us all. I’ve met some unbelievably wonderful people through twitter. Like lj, people I never would have normally met in my day to day life. I am so grateful for the connections I’ve made and friendships I’ve started because of it. Twitter and blogging are not about the number of followers you can earn, or subscribers you can garner – it’s about relationships you can create. I’m so happy with the ones I’ve created and can’t wait to make more.

Happy New Year!

Who are we to choose who takes the easy road while others take the hard? And who’s to say someone isn’t (and they usually are) suffering ten times more than you are right now? Why not us? Who would we rather push this hardship onto? No one that I know, certainly. Again, not to say what we are going through is so unbearable or even the worst struggle we’ve experienced, but this has been given to us and we will come through it stronger than ever. Why not us?

…

It’s pretty obvious what my blessings are this year, I could rattle off my husband and children and mom and of course the amazing friends I’ve made recently. I am thankful for those things each and every day. In addition, I’d like to add some other things that make me pause, take a deep breath, and smile – from the inside out.

• Kids that actually *fought* yesterday over who got to dust more things as we cleaned the house. I know a time will come when they will not be so willing to help out, and I cherish these days when they are.

• A tiny little person that reminds me every minute of what’s truly important in life and how blessed I am, no matter what.

• A husband who, at the end of the day, would do any and everything just to make me smile. Despite the every day stresses and trials, I do appreciate that fact and love him more each day.

• The leaf I looked out the front window and saw fall off the tree. It’s pretty rare that we stop and look at nature happening around us and it’s the one constant in this crazy, fast-paced world we live in. So I loved that I looked up right at that moment and gave thanks for the beautiful world we live in.

• Family and friends that seem to think I’m pretty cool and are willing to support me in any way. I’ve always had a problem accepting compliments or entertaining the thought that people might actually like me…so to get that confirmation almost daily lately…is pretty mindbogglingly amazing.

• Hope. Dreams. I wouldn’t be where I am without hope and dreams. I can’t imagine a world or my mind without them and hope the day never comes when I wake up without hope in my heart and a dream to try to make come true. ♥

Happy Thanksgiving.

I wasn’t kidding when I wrote back in July that I was going to Do What I Loved and make it my goal to be on the Disney Moms Panel. My determination was strengthened in August when my family was able to enjoy the Mickey Moms Club Illuminations Party, put together by the Moms Panel cast members. My excitement then bubbled over as the date to apply approached and the 2010 Disney Moms Panel search began.

The funny thing was, in all that talk and excitement and hoopla, I never really thought my chances of making it into the Moms Panel were any greater than anyone else’s. In fact, so many others seemed to have such a huge online following as well as the knowledge and passion Disney was looking for. Still, the dream was there, the wishes and hopes were always with me. So of course when I first heard I hadn’t made it to the second round, I was crushed. The thought of having to wait an entire year to begin this quest again seemed so insufferably long, and heartbreakingly sad.

Then, as in all good fairy tales, something magical happened. A single glass slipper appeared on my foot, in the form of the email from the Moms Panel telling me I was meant to receive the “Congratulations, you made it to the second round” message all along. I had now become a part of something amazing – my very own Cinderella Story. If you recall, all of Cinderella’s family were already AT the ball when her Fairy Godmother arrived…just like what happened with me, it felt as though all my friends had already gone on to the ball without me.

The next few days seemed like a dream as I composed my answers, took my headshot picture, and hit ‘submit’. My friends and I waited patiently (and not so patiently) for news of when the next round’s finalists would be announced. Detectives all across twitter were scouring for significant tweets that might give us some clue we could go on. Of course at the end of the day, it’ll happen when it happens and no amount of willing it otherwise will help – but excitement and speculation are just part of the fun, I think. Thanks to twitter we all came to the conclusion that the finalists had been chosen in a big team-wide meeting held at Disney World on October 22nd. Then we all had to wait on pins and needles for the 27th to arrive, the date we had been told we would be notified about the next round.

I kept busy with my son’s 1st birthday party on Saturday, the 24th. Family and friends joined us for the fun-filled day full of frosting and presents. Sunday my good friend came over and decided to cook Beef Wellington! Who am I to say no to that? None of us had ever attempted to make it but it made for a fun night as she tried to figure it out (and succeeded!). I made super easy appetizers that don’t require worrying about beef being cooked enough! Monday, the 26th was my 13th wedding anniversary, so again, I was distracted by that celebration. Before I knew it, it was Tuesday the 27th.

For some reason, I woke up that day in the grumpiest of moods! I’m not sure what hit me but I was a total crankapotamous. I spent the morning watching the message boards and twitter, as we all guessed the magical time we’d hear the results. I noticed my oldest son had left his planner for school at home, so I thought I better bring him that so he didn’t get marked off for not having it. I gathered the baby and all his things and headed over to the school. It only took a minute, but while I was out, I decided to get an iced coffee and a bagel since I hadn’t had breakfast or lunch.

As I was waiting at the Dunkin Donuts drive-thru for my plain bagel toasted with butter and medium pumpkin iced latte, I decided to check my email and twitter on my phone. I had no new emails, but twitter seemed to be buzzing with “I’m so sorry” and “I’m out, I didn’t make it” tweets. Wait, I thought, if everyone is getting their “No’s” where’s mine? Why am I not getting the “Thank you for applying” email? I must’ve hit refresh about 10 times on my phone waiting for that email to show up. (I had pulled over into the parking lot because I was starting to shake with nerves at that point seeing everyone else’s tweets.) Finally, it hit me – “OH! I thought, since I wasn’t in the same database when they sent out the “Congratulations” before, my email must be separate so they will be sending my “No” email separately too…” I resigned myself to that, hit refresh a few more times, and exited my email on the phone in order to drive home.

Again, all fairy tales have magic, and foreshadowing…right? I’ve always been a big believer in signs – whether or not those signs mean what I think or want them to is another story. I like to consider myself an eternal optimist because in my heart, I always hold out hope for something, no matter how bad it looks. However, in my head, I think of every possible sign and reason why that hope is foolish and NOT going to work out. (Hence the ‘oh, my “NO” is in a separate email!’ rationale.)

With that said, on my my way home, that bagel was the BEST bagel I have ever eaten. I know that sounds like a completely insane thing to say, but it’s true. And this particular Dunkin Donuts is known for making not-so-awesome bagels…but it’s the closest one to me, so I went there anyway. This bagel (unlike their usual ones) was crispy, perfectly toasted, with just the right amount of butter. I was in shock at how perfect that bagel was.

Then, on the radio, the Black Eyed Peas “I Gotta Feeling” came on. So I was just sitting there, enjoying my bagel perfection, singing along to the fabulous BEP and thinking “Hmm, I wonder if this means something good is going to happen? Nah…I’m sure my “No” email will be waiting for me when I get home…”

When I got home I checked the real mailbox and for the first time in 35 years of planning and booking our vacations at Disney, I got a “Birthday card” from Disney Destinations, telling me to turn my birthday into a sweet celebration with a 40% off pin code for resort accommodations. Again, this was the first time I’d ever gotten a pin code like that, though I’ve heard of others getting them for years. We were already working on plans for my birthday weekend (December 11th), just deciding on the resort, so this was perfect timing. Another sign?! (Scary how my mind works isn’t it??)

I tweeted about getting the pin code before I even opened my laptop to check for email and read twitter again. By that time, I was getting direct messages from quite a few people on twitter asking me if I had gotten an email because no one had heard from me. So I checked and re-checked my email – checked my spam folder, nothing still. This was at around 12:30 I believe. So I began sending my condolences to my close friends that had been with me from day one in this application process, who had received the dreaded “thank you for applying” emails. I was really shocked by many of the people that did not move on to the third round. I truly felt though, that it was only a matter of time before I’d be joining them.

Time passed, people kept sending me messages asking “Are you sure you haven’t heard anything and you just can’t say so yet?” but I assured them I really had no clue what was going on, I hadn’t received ANY emails. The odd thing was my inbox almost always has a message from SOMEwhere in it at any time, businesses, message boards, etc. but I had NO new messages at all for about an hour it seemed! I pictured tumbleweeds blowing down the deserted streets of my virtual mailbox…

I spent the next few hours going through every possible explanation in my head, “I’ll get an email after everyone else” was still the top contender. Finally I got so caught up doing stuff with the baby that I actually FORGOT to check my email. What? Me? Forget to check my email obsessively? So I switched tabs and looked at 3 new messages in my inbox. I cannot for the life of me remember what those other two emails were, because the third one was from a familiar name with my now favorite subject line: “Walt Disney World Moms Panel Confirmation“.

I actually almost laughed when I saw it. That can’t be right, I thought. I clicked on it, and sure enough, it was a real, live Congratulations email! It was sent to me. Directly. Not a forward. Not two days later. Right on time. To ME. A huge grin spread across my face as my two older children happened to walk through the door right at that time. I blurted out “I made it to the third round of the Disney Moms Panel! I’m a finalist!” My daughter jumped up and down and ran over to give me a hug. I spun her around and then she said, “Wait, does that mean you’re on the thing now?” (bless them they’ve had to listen to me talk about it so much they probably tune me out half the time now!) I explained that no, I still had to do a phone interview and if they liked me enough after THAT, I’d be on the panel. She said, “Oh, ok. Well, still YAY!!” My oldest had made a bee-line to the bathroom so he had no clue what we were “Yay-ing” about but once I told him he ran over and hugged me too. He said, “I have a good feeling that you’ll make it onto the panel, Mom.” That was just about the sweetest thing ever.

Then, began the bittersweet process of sharing my news. I am and have been SO happy along this whole fairy tale process, but the one downside is witnessing the sadness of some of the wonderful friends I’ve made along this journey. I know all to well exactly how they are feeling, I felt it for 48 full hours before the winds of chance blew in my favor…but that empathy is small consolation when you feel as if your dreams have been dashed, I know. I know every one of them was and is qualified for the Walt Disney World Moms Panel, it’s just a question of odds and exactly what Disney is looking for, which – if we all knew – would make for a very different process. I thought I didn’t have what it takes, but then I did…and maybe I still do, time will tell.

So for me, the tale is continuing, as I await information on the date and time of my phone interview. I have mixed feelings about the phone interview. I definitely do my best communicating in writing, and hope that nerves to not get the better of me…but I also think back to the four Disney interviews I have successfully completed when applying to be a cast member over the years – the first time in person, one phone and in-person interview for The Disney Store, and two phone and in-person interviews for the Disney Reservations Center. Of course I don’t want to delude myself into thinking this will be easy – I’m sure the questions for this position are quite different from what I’ve interviewed for before and I do not plan to go in unprepared or with any sort of inflated view of myself! I guess just at this point I’m trying to imbue the relaxed, Hakuna Matata view of the situation, and save my nerves for the day of that phone call, as I wish for my other glass slipper to arrive and be the perfect fit…

When the phone rings next week, I’ll be remembering my friends the Black Eyed Peas that got me full of good feelings a few days ago and think, “Let’s kick it – OFF!”

…
I couldn’t begin to properly thank everyone for their support and encouragement during this process. I am eternally grateful and can’t imagine how I’d be getting through this without all of you (I’m sure my family would’ve duct taped my mouth shut by now though!). I wish all of those I’ve met that are still with me in this final round the best of luck and pixie dust for your interviews too. No matter what happens, I can’t wait to see how this story ends!

Originally written October 15th, 12:00pm:
Well, the emails have been sent and arrived for round 2 notifications for the 2010 Disney Moms Panel applications. I did not receive one. I had done my best the last two weeks to convince myself that I hadn’t made it and therefore prepare for the inevitable let down, but alas, the heart is stronger than the mind in these cases. I originally began to write this entry the day I got the news, but quickly realized that was not the best idea. I’ve now had a couple of days to process the news and feel the need to share my thoughts, now that I’ve collected them.

I have extended my heartfelt congratulations to all I know that have moved on, and I sincerely do wish them the best of luck. (In fact I re-congratulated all those I knew from Twitter that made the cut right before taking a deep breath and starting to write this entry!) I know many of those that were chosen and do not doubt their love, passion and commitment to sharing their knowledge on the Moms Panel. I can’t wait to hear who will make the final cut!

My initial reaction to not moving on was of course sadness. Really it was the greatest sadness I have felt in a long, long time. I think this is mostly because being aware of many of the activities and events the current Moms are involved in, through Twitter, the panel itself has been built up as truly the ultimate experience for someone with Disney knowledge to share. Most of the panel refer to themselves as Disney Mom BFFs and all those involved of course share their love of their position and all it involves. It is truly wonderful to see the ‘family’ that they are and the love they have for both each other, and the job they are doing and sharing with us. At the same time, being witness to that camaraderie and fun, doing something I have such love and interest in, makes it all the more difficult to step back and move on from, knowing it is not in your plan to be a part.

I think I must’ve experienced all 5 of the Kübler-Ross stages of grief in the hours following the news – twice. Now that I am finally at the ‘acceptance’ phase, I am able to better see perhaps why I wasn’t chosen. Of course, I…um. Wait. Stop.

…

Written today, October 19th, 2009: I was in the very process of writing this entry on Thursday, October 15, when I happened to click over to check my email. When I saw the subject line of the one new message bolded in my inbox – my heart stopped. It said “Walt Disney World Moms Panel Confirmation“. Even more heart-stopping – I recognized the person’s name as being involved with the Disney Moms Panel from following along as others got their acceptance to round 2. I clicked the email to read, while experiencing shortness of breath and a rapid heartbeat.

I read the message quickly. Words leaped out at me like “inadvertently” “incorrect”…”congratulations” “round 2” and “approved“. Of course I thought it must be a joke…a very cruel, heartbreaking joke…but it couldn’t possibly be REAL. I reread it about 5 times, muttering “ohmygoshohmygoshohmygosh” the whole time. Finally, I followed the email’s instructions and went to the application site where I should’ve been able to now see the Round 2 questions. I had tried that link before, when it had been leaked on a message board, and I was not ‘validated in the database’, so I knew this would be the ultimate proof of legitimacy. It asked me to log in, I did…and…the questions appeared before my eyes. It was REAL. It was actually happening! I could not believe it, but I HAD to believe it because it was right there on the screen!

images ©Disney

I glanced quickly at the questions but I was still in such a state of shock that I did not even THINK about answering them until I had peace and quiet later that night. I was SO excited at that point I had to share on the message boards I’d been following and Twitter. I actually debated keeping it to myself because I knew the heartache so many were feeling, and did not want to be responsible for causing more…but I thought it’d look strange if by some miracle I DO make it through to Round 3 (phone interviews) and announce that, causing everyone to say, “wait, you said you didn’t make it past Round 1!?”. As anticipated, there was some confusion and hurt feelings as people hoped their lack of congratulations emails had also been a mistake. In addition, there was a lot of speculation regarding exactly what Disney is looking for and assumptions that it was more about online presence and less about actual Disney knowledge.

I really do not want to add any more unconfirmed hypotheses to the topic, but I can say that after having been on BOTH sides of the equation (wondering ‘why not me?’ and then ‘yay me!’ ) I *still* don’t know any more about what Disney may or may not have been looking for in the selection process. Of course we ALL believe we’d be a great fit, or we wouldn’t spend the time meticulously condensing our love of Walt Disney World into 100 tiny words. And no, no one knows what Disney is looking for. If we did, it would be even more difficult for Disney to find good matches, because we’d all be tailoring ourselves to what we knew Disney wanted, leaving our true selves on the other side of the monitor.

As hard as it is to accept when you first receive that email telling you your journey has ended for this year, I really HAD come to terms with – despite my belief that I would be the perfect person to share my Disney knowledge and passion with others – the fact that Disney didn’t see it right then, didn’t mean it wasn’t still there. That is truly why this has been such a roller coaster of emotions! I had finally gotten to that 5th stage of grief – Acceptance – and in a split second, my dreams rose from the grave and I was given hope again. I know that sounds dramatic, but how many of us have experienced that Denial or Bargaining stage of any form of grief? It becomes so important in your mind and heart, that you’ll do almost anything to have that experience or chance back again. I never in a million years thought all I’d have to do is check my email to get that chance again. Disney Magic does exist.

In the hours and days following my amazing reprieve, I learned that it was not a singular event. The very mom in charge of the Disney Moms Panel, Laura Spencer, had received a ‘no’ email in error, and discovered she actually HAD made it to the phone interview stage a mere 30 minutes before the interview itself! She made it to that inaugural panel and then secured herself her current Cast Member position. What a dream come true! Another moms panel applicant also received a ‘no’ email in error before moving on to the actual panel. So while of course I never counted on this happening, the knowledge that others had experienced it let me know mistakes can happen, and Disney will catch those and correct them.

My attempts at relaxing before answering my questions didn’t last long – after all, I had 48 hours less than the rest of the applicants to craft my answers, attach a picture and submit them before midnight on Friday! I feel like I should say though, I still would’ve been excited and grateful if Disney only gave me 10 minutes to write my responses!! I tried my best to speak from my heart and all that’s left now is Faith, Trust and Pixie Dust that my heart speaks the same language as those making the decisions. If this is as far as my journey takes me this year, I am honored that Disney saw something in me to pick me out of tens of thousands of applications down to 200 or so. This IS my dream, as I’ve said from day one and if now isn’t the time, perhaps next year!

I want to take a moment before I end this to thank the countless friends and supporters both online and offline that helped me through the last week. The response when I did not make the cut to the 2nd round was overwhelming. So many people assured me it was a mistake, that great things were in store for me, etc. Silly me didn’t believe them! In addition, the support I received when I made my announcement was UNBELIEVABLE. Complete strangers were congratulating me, as well as those I’d become close to over the months on Twitter. Even Raglan Road Pub and the Hilton Anaheim wished me luck!! I was in shock (again!)!! So I’ll say once more, if this is as far as I make it, I feel as though I’m already a success with the people I have in my corner, cheering me on. I’m not sure what more I could ask for, I feel like my Fairy Godmother has already given me the greatest gift!

I know it’s not nearly enough, but…thank you. ♥