Movie Reviews

NEW Wicked Feature Film Featurette

13 May 2024 by Suzannah Otis 1 Comment

As a lifelong Broadway musical fan, and a fan of Wicked the musical, I’ve been very excited for all the news surrounding the feature film. This new featurette just released gives us the biggest glimpse so far into the upcoming film, releasing its first part this Thanksgiving. Keep reading to learn more and watch the featurette below!

After two decades as one of the most beloved and enduring musicals on the stage, Wicked makes its long-awaited journey to the big screen as a spectacular, generation-defining cinematic event this holiday season.

Wicked, the untold story of the witches of Oz, stars Emmy, Grammy and Tony winning powerhouse Cynthia Erivo (Harriet, Broadway’s The Color Purple) as Elphaba, a young woman, misunderstood because of her unusual green skin, who has yet to discover her true power, and Grammy-winning, multi-platinum recording artist and global superstar Ariana Grande as Glinda, a popular young woman, gilded by privilege and ambition, who has yet to discover her true heart.

The two meet as students at Shiz University in the fantastical Land of Oz and forge an unlikely but profound friendship. Following an encounter with The Wonderful Wizard of Oz, their friendship reaches a crossroads and their lives take very different paths. Glinda’s unflinching desire for popularity sees her seduced by power, while Elphaba’s determination to remain true to herself, and to those around her, will have unexpected and shocking consequences on her future. Their extraordinary adventures in Oz will ultimately see them fulfill their destinies as Glinda the Good and the Wicked Witch of the West.

The film also stars Oscar^® winner Michelle Yeoh as Shiz University’s regal headmistress Madame Morrible; Jonathan Bailey (Bridgerton, Fellow Travelers) as Fiyero, a roguish and carefree prince; Tony nominee Ethan Slater (Broadway’s Spongebob Squarepants, Fosse/Verdon) as Boq, an altruistic Munchkin student; Marissa Bode in her feature-film debut as Nessarose, Elphaba’s favored sister; and pop culture icon Jeff Goldblum as the legendary Wizard of Oz.

Here is the latest featurette from the Wicked movie – it looks breathtaking!

The cast of characters includes Pfannee and ShenShen, two conniving compatriots of Glinda played by Emmy nominee Bowen Yang (Saturday Night Live) and Bronwyn James (Harlots); a new character created for the film, Miss Coddle, played by Tony nominee Keala Settle (The Greatest Showman) and four-time Emmy winner Peter Dinklage (Game of Thrones) as the voice of Dr. Dillamond.

Directed by acclaimed filmmaker Jon M. Chu (Crazy Rich Asians, In the Heights), Wicked is the first chapter of a two-part immersive, cultural celebration. Wicked Part Two is scheduled to arrive in theaters on November 26, 2025.

Wicked is produced by Marc Platt (La La Land, The Little Mermaid), whose films, television shows and stage productions have earned a combined 46 Oscar^® nominations, 58 Emmy nominations and 36 Tony nominations, and by multiple Tony winner David Stone (Kimberly Akimbo, Next to Normal), with whom Platt produced the blockbuster Wicked stage musical. The executive producers are David Nicksay, Stephen Schwartz and Jared LeBoff.

Based on the bestselling novel by Gregory Maguire, Wicked is adapted for the screen by the stage production’s book writer Winnie Holzman and by legendary Grammy and Oscar^® winning composer and lyricist Stephen Schwartz. The Broadway stage musical is produced by Universal Stage Productions, Marc Platt, the Araca Group, Jon B. Platt and David Stone.

REVIEW: Lightyear is the Pixar Story We Didn’t Know We Needed

15 June 2022 by Suzannah Otis Leave a Comment

Ok, so no one really thought we needed a Buzz Lightyear backstory, right? I was of the same mind, and thought this was a very silly attempt at extending the Toy Story franchise beyond its natural life and wasting all of our time. At a recent Lightyear screening, I was proven very wrong. My Lightyear review will not contain major spoilers, but will discuss some on-screen things (which have previously been discussed in the press), so proceed at your own risk if you’d like to be surprised. I will not discuss the major reveal toward the end of the film, so that major spoiler is safe.

Going back to my initial frame of mind when I saw the first real trailer for Lightyear, as an extreme David Bowie fan, I was slightly offended that they used his “Starman“ in the trailer for what I thought was such a pointless film. At the end of the movie (which didn’t use the song at all by the way), I took back my offense. Like many, I assumed this was based on the life of the “real world” person Buzz Lightyear, and had nothing really to do with Toy Story at all. In the first frame, we are told that “…in 1995, a boy named Andy received a toy Buzz Lightyear, based on his favorite movie. This is that movie.” Already, that made more sense to me, and I wish they’d explained that going in, I think it would’ve been more accepted from the start.

The film itself is genuinely entertaining from start to finish. We learn briefly about Space Rangers and what they do. We see Buzz as a devoted ranger, his friend and fellow ranger Hawthorne, and their latest mission. Something goes wrong, and the entire team is stranded on a planet, which Buzz feels is his fault. He works to get them off the planet and test out the hyper speed crystal fusion fuel they need to get back home. The only problem with all of his attempted and failed tests, is that Buzz is gone for minutes, while years and years pass by on the planet he’s returning to.

Buzz Lighyear and Sox — © 2021 Disney/Pixar. All Rights Reserved.

To help him with his guilt over stranding people on this alien planet, Hawthorne gives Buzz a “personal companion robot” named Sox. He is a robotic cat, who truly steals the show and gives it its heart. Even when things seem serious or dire, Sox can find a way to help and inject humor with his “loading” noises of just “meowmeowmeowmeow” or “beepboopbeepboop.” It really helps keep the movie firmly in the kids zone and something that Andy would’ve appreciated as a kid, I think. (Although I’m pretty disappointed we didn’t get Sox toys back in 1995 when Toy Story came out.) Sox is the friend and co-pilot we all need.

Again, I won’t give anything more in this Lightyear review than what I’ve said above away, but suffice it to say, Buzz learns some valuable lessons about friendship, accepting help, and what life is all about. I will also note that there is a lesbian couple in the film, garnering its being banned in Saudi Arabia. The storyline is very subtly displayed, and portrayed as just “normal” which of course, is how it should be. I like to think about 1995 Andy watching this movie and thinking nothing of it as well, just a couple, no other adjectives needed. I wish Pixar had been so bold back in 1995, and I wish the world would’ve been as accepting as most of it is today. Strides are finally being made however, and acceptance and inclusion is becoming the norm.

So while of course we didn’t need another Toy Story movie, I think we did need the lessons Lightyear doles out and I will happily add this to one of my favorite Pixar tales. And tails. I’m totally getting a plush Sox just as soon as I finish posting this Lightyear review. (Here are two options below!)

Sox the Cat on Shop Disney — Sox the Cat on ShopDisney

Lightyear opens in theaters on June 17. I highly recommend heading out to see it, if only for the Sox moments. Until then, you can also enjoy some backstory as Disney+ invites fans to explore the history of Buzz Lightyear and get a sneak peek at the making of the all-new film.

Pixar Animation Studios’ “Beyond Infinity: Buzz and the Journey to Lightyear” explores the evolution of an icon, tracing Buzz Lightyear’s route from toy to the hero featured in the new film. Check out the trailer celebrating the launch of the documentary on Disney+.

Featuring filmmakers, storytellers, artists and members of the “Lightyear” voice cast, “Beyond Infinity: Buzz and the Journey to Lightyear” details how Buzz’s original action-figure design was realized, and how that look was translated years later into a human hero. Delving into the cultural impact of the galaxy’s most famous Space Ranger and his significance to Pixar filmmakers, this doc grapples with what actually is beyond infinity. It is directed by Tony Kaplan and produced by Sureena Mann.

Opening in theaters June 17, “Lightyear”—the definitive origin story of Buzz Lightyear (voice of Chris Evans), the hero who inspired the toy—follows the legendary Space Ranger on an intergalactic adventure. The film is directed by Angus MacLane (co-director “Finding Dory”) and produced by Galyn Susman (“Toy Story That Time Forgot”).

I hope you enjoyed this Lightyear review and it wasn’t too spoilery, I couldn’t not talk about how wonderful Sox the robot cat is. Let me know in the comments below if you see Lightyear and what you think!

Thanks to Disney D23 for the screening of Lightyear, as always, my opinions and thoughts are my own.

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REVIEW: DEAR EVAN HANSEN, Your Movie Is Bad

22 September 2021 by Chris Ryan Leave a Comment

As with all of my reviews, I want to make sure people are aware that I won’t be spoiling any of the plot here. That being said, the Dear Evan Hansen stage production premiered in 2016, and it’s been a moderately well known story since. Even if you’ve never heard a song off the soundtrack, you likely understand the concept of the story – which is so simple conceptually that you’ll be able to guess exactly how it ends.

Even if the film was good, the story would’ve been a hard sell on its own. To describe the film, the word that kept coming to mind was ‘cringe-worthy.’ Not ‘cringe’ in a modern ‘uncouth’ or ‘out of touch’ way, but cringe-worthy in the way you would describe watching someone’s marriage proposal get rejected. It’s just genuinely hard to watch Evan’s actions in the film – it’s not an enjoyable experience.

Evan Hansen is not a character that anyone is rooting for (and I don’t think by the end anyone will be), but the movie expects us to listen to this character who is so self-centered and sociopathic that he ruins the lives of people around him. I do believe that a large part of this is due to Evan’s casting – and we’ll get to that in a moment.

Dear Benj Pasek and Justin Paul,

Ben Platt as Evan Hansen in Dear Evan Hansen, directed by Stephen Chbosky.

I’d like to take a brief pause to talk about the music. It’s a big musical, so surely the music is good right? Well, not necessarily.

I personally have never been a fan of the songwriting duo behind Dear Evan Hansen. The only work of theirs I particularly enjoy is 2016’s La La Land – and that’s entirely because the soundtrack is primarily the work of Justin Hurwitz.

Benj Pasek and Justin Paul, who’s previous work also includes The Greatest Showman and two original songs for the 2019 Aladdin remake, have a particular style to their music – pop songs pretending to be musical theatre songs. And I definitely understand that some people are very big fans of their work – The Greatest Showman’s soundtrack is very popular to this day, and Dear Evan Hansen’s stage production won just about every Tony imaginable. It’s just not the best that the musical theatre genre has to offer, despite now making up its most popular tracks in decades.

Still, I would be lying if I said ‘Waving Through A Window’ didn’t make a frequent appearance in my musical theatre playlist. Before watching the film, I deliberately avoided listening to the original soundtrack again to enter bias-free. As a result, when the film began, I was really enjoying the first three tracks – and I thought to myself ‘Wow, this is way better than I remember!’ But after ‘Sincerely Me,’ the track list takes quite a dip.

The issue with Pasek and Paul’s work is that – with a few exceptions – most of their songs sound pretty identical. If you were to randomly assign a singer four songs from the duo’s discography, I don’t know if you’d be able to identify what songs came from what production.

Needless to say, there’s nothing in the film version that adds musically to the original version. If you’re curious at all about the show, I really recommend just listening to the Broadway recording instead, it’ll save you some money and about 137 minutes of boredom.

Dear DEH Cast,

(from left) Larry Mora (Danny Pino), Cynthia Murphy (Amy Adams) and Zoe Murphy (Kaitlyn Dever) in Dear Evan Hansen, directed by Stephen Chbosky.

Okay, so the story’s bad, the music’s bad, surely the cast has to be good right? You’d think that would be the case. Before I get too into the weeds here, I’ll begin with what I enjoyed. I didn’t know that Amy Adams was here, and she was a nice surprise. It’s not her most phenomenal role (she didn’t have very much to work with after all), but she’s still one of the more watchable characters of the film.

The MOST watchable performance goes to Colton Ryan (no relation), who played Connor Murphy. It goes without saying that he doesn’t have very much screen time, but he truly makes the most of what he does have. He actually served as an understudy for the role in the original Broadway production, and it shows that he has experience with the character.

The last highlight goes to Kaitlyn Dever – who you may have previously seen in 2019’s Booksmart, one of my favorite films of all time. Her character isn’t the best written, but she does bring a lot of realism to Ben Platt’s scenes, which is extremely necessary.

Dear Ben Platt,

(from left) Evan Hansen (Ben Platt) and Jared Kalwani (Nik Dodani) in Dear Evan Hansen, directed by Stephen Chbosky.

Ben Platt may very well be the worst part of this film. As mentioned before, he also played the titular role in the original Broadway production. Now, I didn’t see his Broadway performance myself, but the Tony’s and clout he earned seem to speak to how good it was.

However.

He’s not the only person who played the role. The stage production cast a new lead 4 different times, not including the national tour of the show, which featured a different actor altogether. Many people have taken the helm of the lonely high schooler who takes a lie too far. As a result, many people were confused when Platt was announced to play the character in the film adaptation.

Sure, he’s the most well known portrayer of the role, but that doesn’t mean he’s the only person who can play it for the rest of time. Take for example, the recent film adaptation of In the Heights: the character of Usnavi was initially played by Lin Manuel Miranda, someone who’s already become stereotyped with casting himself as a major role in whatever he writes. And yet, the role was instead taken by Anthony Ramos. LMM was older than he was in the initial production, and it was time to give it to someone else who deserved the spotlight.

It seems like a weird thing to be up-in-arms about, but Platt’s casting in the film seems even weirder when you learn that his father is a producer for the film, likely playing a big part in giving his son the lead role. Platt later responded to the cases against him by saying,

…were I not to do the movie, it probably wouldn’t get made. And so I think, you know, my defensive response is to want to like, go onto twitter and be like, you know ‘F you guys, like you don’t even know that like this wouldn’t exist without me.’

Never in my life have I seen something so disrespectful and egocentric from someone who was very publicly handed a lead role in a major film by his father. It does such a disservice to everyone else who has played the role on stage – one of whom I should point out is Platt’s current boyfriend – all of whom are equally as qualified to play the character again.

All of this to say, Platt’s performance is very difficult to watch. I had read that Platt would be digitally altered to appear younger (ideally to make a 27 year old appear 17). Either that article was fake, or it was done so subtly that it didn’t make a difference at all, because Platt still appears significantly older than any of the other high school students in the film.

Evan Hansen seeming like a creepy guy hanging around at a school severely changes the tone of the film. Rather than being a quirky misunderstood guy who gets caught up in wanting a life that he doesn’t have, Platt’s performance in the film instead gives us a hunched and awkward sociopath who is too egocentric to understand when he’s severely upheaving the familial lives of people who he doesn’t know at all.

I won’t even go into the issues now present Hansen’s romantic side plot with the character played by Kaitlyn Dever, an actress who just naturally looks young in general. Platt sadistically reciting all of the absurd minute details of Dever’s character who he obsessed over – of course, under the guise that these were actually the thoughts of her dead brother – is just something no one should ever be forced to sit through.

It really changes how Evan Hansen as a character will be interpreted by audiences, and it’s entirely because Platt got Daddy on the phone and decided he needed more attention.

Dear readers,

As a whole, this movie is not good. It’s absolutely minimalist stance on ‘mental health’ boils down to about as progressive someone tweeting ‘I just learned eating yogurt is a trauma response.’

I just truly cannot advise you enough to not see this. It’s not even entertaining in a “Oh I just want to see the train wreck” kind of way, it’s just not watchable at all. By the end of my screening, the audience, which was made up of the target demographic for this film, were simply laughing in embarrassment at Platt’s asinine emotional breakdown.

I assume studios were clamoring for the chance to bring this to the silver screen, but all of the negative press and negative reviews pretty much guarantee this version will be unmemorable in about 6 months.

Just go listen to the Broadway soundtrack instead.

REVIEW: F9 – The ‘Olive Garden’ of Movies

22 June 2021 by Chris Ryan Leave a Comment

Before we begin, there are no spoilers in this review. I typically don’t watch trailers before I see a movie, but I have since gone back and watched the trailers for F9 so this review will only explicitly mention scenes that are already publicly available.

I didn’t think we’d be at the point where I would be writing a review for a Fast and Furious movie, but here we are. Up until about five days ago, I hadn’t seen any of the films, so I binged them all before watching this one. I’m now fully caught up on the Fast Saga, and ready to discuss where F9 sits in this massive franchise.

F1: THE FAMILY

(from left) Dom (Vin Diesel) and Jakob (John Cena) in F9

The family is back together on another crazy mission, provided by Kurt Russel’s Mr. Nobody – one of the best recent additions to the cast. Dwayne Johnson is absent, as is Jason Statham, presumably due to some events that transpired in Hobbs and Shaw – the one film I didn’t see before F9. Luke Hobbs has been one of the strongest characters for me personally, so that lack of presence is pretty noticeable.

Conversely, there are some great reprisals here as well: Jordana Brewster returns, as do Bow Wow and Lucas Black (my favorite character, which I’ve heard is an unpopular opinion). But this film also brings back Sung Kang as Han, a character who already died in Tokyo Drift, came back, and died again.

According to my research, this is because Tokyo Drift actually takes place after Fast & Furious 6, and he only really “died” once – though F9 reveals that even that was just another ruse. I did not gather this at all via just watching the films, but apparently Tokyo was stuck in 2006 until about five years ago.

But that’s not the only surprising character update here. Dom Toretto, the family man himself, once turned his back on his own brother (John Cena), who has now come back with a vengeance. I like to think he was actually in every previous film, we just couldn’t see him.

F2: BACK FOR FUN

(from left) Tej (Chris “Ludacris” Bridges) and Roman (Tyrese Gibson) in F9

As a whole, F9 is a bit of a return to form for the series in my eyes. Not that I’m necessarily a long time fan, but this is definitely not one of the Fast Saga’s worst entries. 2017’s Fate of the Furious notably ditched some of the over-the-top stunts for a more reserved (if you could call Dwayne Johnson grabbing a torpedo ‘reserved’) spy romp. In a more devastating blow to fans, Fate also threw away one of the biggest aspects of the series: family. That is thankfully not the case with F9.

While Fate saw Dom turn against his new ‘family,’ in F9, we learn that once he did the same thing to his brother Jakob. I usually dislike the addition of family members late into a series who go completely unmentioned prior to their new introduction, but I wasn’t incredibly hung up on it here.

Story-wise, the Fast Saga has never been anything to write home about, at least not after the franchise reboot in 2009. I obviously wasn’t expecting anything grand here either, but I’ve seen worse. After the disaster of Fate’s story, the only place F9 could go was up. Fast and the Furious is the Olive Garden of film franchises – when you’re here you’re family. And this was perhaps the ‘family-est’ of them all.

The movie even has a few moments with Roman and Tej (who are both great here) that poke fun at the insanity of the series as a whole. Roman asks “Are we invincible?” to which the movie essentially answers, “lol.” It’s just a carefree action flick that is cool for the sake of cool and doesn’t take itself too seriously, and it’s way better because of that.

F3: FAMILIAR FOE

(from left) Jakob (John Cena) and Cipher (Charlize Theron) in F9

For me, the biggest hurdle for these films is the portrayal of their villains. I think to-date, Luke Hobbs was the only one enjoyable to watch, every other villain character has felt boring and dry, lacking an emotion that isn’t ‘Kill those people before they destroy my new tech-MacGuffin-weapon.’ Even Deckard Shaw, the villain that can’t seem to die, falls into this category for me, only really assisted by his evil British accent.

In F9, the family faces off against Cipher, the villain introduced in Fate of the Furious, played by Charlize Theron. While I thought her performance in Fate was one of the driest of them all, they really improved her here. She has a ‘smartest in the room’ energy that makes her almost seem like the mastermind villain in a great anime or an HBO series. She even has the same haircut!

The cast was fun to watch, the story was acceptable, and the stunts were once again out of this world. F9 wasn’t my favorite entry into the series, but it was a dang good one. I was anticipating making a reference to the F9 key – a button which these days has little to no default use – somewhere in this review, but F9 the film is worth more than that one joke.

F4: IN REVIEW

Jakob (John Cena, center) and Otto (Thue Ersted Rasmussen, right) in F9

So where does this put the series? That’s a good question. Just about every film since Fast Five ends in a way that could be the end of the series if it needed to. That’s the case with F9 as well, but they’ve already announced a tenth film, so it seems like it won’t be the true end quite yet.

In a series that’s so committed to retcons that they changed a film from 2006 to be set in 2014 to bring back an actor, anything can happen. I would like to see the films end before it just writes itself into the ground, but given how much money they generate, I don’t think that’ll be any time soon.

The past year or so has been rough for big blockbuster films, because they truly benefit from the biggest screen possible. F9 is definitely the great summer blockbuster that theaters have needed. Go see it in person to experience all the magic of a truck with super magnets pulling a car through a building the way it’s meant to be experienced.

Those interested in my ranking of the Fast Saga as a whole can check it out here. Or, check out another review I’ve done for this site.

After this week I can say that these movies have changed me. I am truly a member of la familia. I am secretly Dom Toretto’s first cousin twice removed. I am played by Timothee Chalamet but he’s incredibly ripped now. I drive a Toyota Prius with a V12 engine and helicopter blades on top. I will be introduced in F13: Revenge of the Cars, a movie that was filmed in 1983 but will be released in 2024 with zero context.

REVIEW: MULAN 2020 is The Highest Budget Hallmark Movie

5 September 2020 by Chris Ryan 2 Comments

On Thursday, March 19th, 2020, I was scheduled to attend a press screening of Disney’s Mulan. I thought this would be a totally normal event – and the last screening I attended was not too long prior: The Hunt (a movie so egregiously bad I couldn’t even bring myself to review it). But on March 12th, I was informed that the screening had been cancelled as the release of the film had been postponed. Needless to say, a few other significant events have taken place since then.

Because of this, Mulan 2020 kept piquing my interest. I was already invested into the concept of the film: the original 1998 film is a classic, and while this one was certainly different, I thought the trailer looked really good. In any event, when the time finally came for its release, I couldn’t wait to take a look.

HONORING THE PAST

2020’s Mulan is a testament to Disney’s in-house production teams’ ability to make only one kind of film anymore: the high-budget, low-effort blockbuster. This is really all you can find looking back at their previous releases. From shot-for-shot live action remakes of their animated successes, to 22 superhero stories that they know will draw an audience just because of the Marvel name. They know that if the poster says ‘Disney’ on it, people will buy it, and because of that, they really don’t have to try.

So can you tell I wasn’t the biggest fan of Mulan 2020?

The movie also draws upon its recent predecessors stylistically. That is to say, even though the tone of the plot is very different, if this movie came on during a Marvel movie marathon, it wouldn’t be all too jarring. It’s shot in the same way: big establishing shots of the lush CGI world they built, faster-than-you-can-blink cuts during action sequences, and shots that are staged almost exclusively with trailers or promotional videos in mind.

I will give them this: in our home theater, we have a very good screen, and this movie was a great way to showcase that. Most of the recent releases on Disney+ are presented in 4K UHD with Dolby Vision, so even a shot of a bug crawling on the ground looks fantastic.

BE TRUE

One of the biggest headlines about this movie before it even came out was that it was a more ‘realistic’ telling of the Mulan legend. They nixed the songs, the dragon sidekick, and all the other cartoon-y choices that the 1998 version added themselves.

I was very interested in this as soon as this was announced. Yes, the soundtrack to the 1998 version is good, but it only has four songs anyway, so I wouldn’t miss them (sidenote, if you like the soundtrack of the original, do yourself a favor and research how much of a mess it apparently was to make). And while Mushu is a fun character, I’m always in favor of changing that type of thing for realism – I’m a big fan of how it was done in Aladdin on Broadway to change the monkey sidekick into three human friends of Aladdin.

However, maybe the biggest reason I was looking forward to a new take on the plot, was following the recent Lion King movie – a full blown shot-for-shot remake of the original with almost nothing added and almost nothing removed. A new telling of the story means that it’s more likely to justify its purpose as a live action remake, something that none of them have been able to do thus far.

Ultimately, this was not the result. The movie relies very heavily on its audience’s pre-existing knowledge of the original film, despite being so starkly and, honestly, harshly different from it. It’s loaded with visual references to the original. Something will happen, and the film will pause for a beat, and wait for the audience to say “Hey, that’s the thing from the original movie, I remember that!” Or the soundtrack, which, while not including the lyricized songs from the original, plays the instrumentals of them in emotional moments, so you again say “Aww, I remember that.”

I say it comes off as harsh because while the movie devotes so much time to profiting off of the audiences memory of the first, it’s also completely different plot-wise. While we hear the powerful instrumental of ‘Reflection’ from the first film, we watch our new Mulan use the force to kick arrows into the chest of a nameless enemy.

Yeah, I guess we should talk about the force.

MULAN’S MIDI-CHLORIANS ARE OFF THE CHARTS

1998’s Mulan is a movie that empowers young girls to take a stand, and shows them that even if the world says they’re of less value, they can be just as strong and powerful as those that hold them down. You would think that, in (current year), 2020’s Mulan would try to do the same. And to an extent, it does, but it does so oh-so strangely.

From literally the very first scene, Mulan is described as using Chi. Now, I’m aware that chi is a real thing in Chinese culture. It’s described as an underlying principle in traditional Chinese medicine or martial arts. And, while it is a ‘force’ that is in tune with your energy flow, the movie treats it as a midi-chlorian-style ‘force that binds us’ that can be used to grant someone jedi-like abilities in dexterity.

It’s underlying message may be one of female-empowerment, but the movie pushes very heavily that Mulan can only succeed because she has some innate supernatural ability. She is a weak fighter – everyone in the Imperial Army seems to be. But by harnessing her ‘inner Chi’ she can be ‘just as good as the men.’ It’s very bizarre, and honestly belittles her character. She’s never able to take down opponents one-on-one: every single fight she takes part in ends with her “controlling her Chi” to do a flip-kick and toss a spear or an arrow back into them.

The film even does a Revenge of the Sith-level side plot where a villain who has mastered their Chi tries to influence Mulan into joining the ‘dark side,’ so that she can realize the full potential of her power.

THE HIGHEST BUDGET HALLMARK MOVIE

Obviously I felt strongly enough about this to make it the title of the review, but it’s true. The movie is all around just pretty mediocre. We followed up our viewing of Mulan by watching 2019’s The Lion King, which, let’s just say, I’m notably not a fan of. At least with The Lion King (while upsetting that it exists), it is still just ‘The Lion King’ so it’s a fun story with fun songs and is just fun in general. Mulan 2020 is really very different from the original film in about every aspect. This upsets me, because like I said before, that normally would be a reason that I would enjoy it. But it’s different in a few too many ways.

This is a humourless, bland, movie. There is action, the music is good. It’s very pretty to look at. Most of the costumes are nice. But I don’t think I would ever bother watching it again because most unfortunately of all, it’s just boring.

This Mulan is the equivalent of, instead of watching the original film, someone just describes to you the original Ballad of Mulan upon which it is based. The pacing is very strange, so it feels like someone just telling the story in a very haphazard way. And, despite starring seasoned vets like Donnie Yen and Jet Li, the acting is notably bad. Aside from Jason Scott Lee, every actor here gives the most lackluster boring performances of their career. For some, like Jet Li, it feels like the only filmed one take before he just walked off set and they had to use it.

Because of all of this, it truly feels like a Hallmark movie in both it’s plot and it’s production. The acting is subpar, the plot and writing is very low-quality, the special effects feel rushed, the list honestly goes on.

There’s more I could say about the plot alone, like how the villains (specifically the witch Xian Lang) are legitimately the only redeemable characters. Every member of the Imperial Army and of her own family dislikes and belittles Mulan, and she relentlessly follows them to the ends of the earth regardless. Meanwhile, the villains of the movie, donned in all black, with mysterious intent and magical witch in tow, provide a Palpatine-esque alternative that actually sounds way more appealing than what any of the other characters are offering Mulan.

IN CONCLUSION

I don’t want it to sound like this is a terrible terrible movie that is not worth anyone’s time. It’s not. It’s, at worst, “okay.” But it’s also the -nth “okay” movie that Disney has released in a row, and it’s tiresome at this point. This is objectively a better film than The Lion King, for example, but it’s so boring and bizarre that that’s like saying an ant bite is better than a bee sting – I’d still rather not have either.

What makes it worse, is that it’s thirty freaking dollars – or at least $29.99. Not including the Disney+ subscription that everyone who will watch this movie undoubtedly already has. Very, very few movies are worth that much, and there is absolutely no universe at all in which this one is.

REVIEW: ONWARD is Pixar’s Step Backwards

21 February 2020 by Chris Ryan Leave a Comment

It may be bold of me to say, but in my opinion, Pixar has somewhat of a rough track record. I think they succeed pretty well at making entertaining films. But only a few have been notably exceptional. Onward is in an interesting position to review. I’m still not entirely sure whether I liked all of it or not.

THE QUEST BEGINS..

I had absolutely no expectations of this movie before watching it. I enjoy Tom Holland and Chris Pratt on their own well enough, but I hadn’t really even been following much of the promotion for the movie. Some of the art looked fun, and I really enjoyed the music choice for the trailer – which is honestly enough to sell me most of the time (and why I plan on seeing F9).

I knew I would inevitably see Onward anyway because the trailer starts with 5 letters and a little lamp jumping on screen. That’s what begins the issues with Onward for me, conceptually.

©2019 Disney/Pixar. All Rights Reserved.

The past couple Pixar releases have felt off, personally. I still haven’t seen the Good Dinosaur, I missed Finding Dory until 3 years later, Cars 3 was bad, and Toy Story 4 just felt like a tech demo for their animation interns to work on that they accidentally released.

And even though I did actually like Finding Dory, Incredibles 2, and Coco, they did still feel a bit lazy. Pixar definitely has a particular format they like to stick to – I won’t blame them, it seems to work commercially every time. But Onward is the 22nd film in their collection of releases, and honestly feels exactly the same as 98% of them.

THE CURSE

Onward seems like it missed the mark on quite a few subjects to me. The art style feels weird, to be blunt. In a world with actual magic and fantasy characters, I don’t see the need to give every character an odd humanoid face, even if they have only one absurdly large eye.

It all looks a little odd, and I wish they would’ve done something a bit more creative. The main character of the film even looks like a recolor of Linguini from Ratatouille, which is something that I would think they could avoid.

But my disagreements with the world don’t stop there. Something about the atmosphere just feels kind of cheesy and almost lame. For all intents and purposes, the setting of the film is really doing the same job as that of Shrek, which somehow seems to pull it off more convincingly. That’s a sentence I didn’t think I’d be able to write.

A LITTLE MAGIC

What I did manage to like from the atmosphere of Onward is honestly just because I enjoy the fantasy genre as a whole. It could’ve been anything on screen but if they were doing magic with wizards and pulling out D&D terms I would be on board. There is certainly a bit of charm that comes along with the Pixar touch, but I don’t think this is something that had to try incredibly hard to pull off.

And that’s my biggest issue of all – it felt pretty easy. The art style was incredibly similar to things they’ve done before (even to things the Director had made before with the studio). The score was safe and almost nonexistent in some parts.

The things the “Inclusion Team” allegedly insured were in the movie were really bare minimum and easily modifiable for foreign markets that still don’t accept characters being openly gay. All of this making it all feel very unnecessary and almost as if they were forced to include them but were graded on completion, not accuracy.

ANCIENT HISTORY

So what’s the issue, really? Well, co-star of our Up the Waterfall podcast, Scott Otis, pointed out to me that Pixar has had a couple years in the past with two releases: The Good Dinosaur and Inside Out, Cars 3 and Coco, and now Onward and Soul. So statistically, maybe I’m just not a fan of Onward so that I can be a fan of Soul.

But in all seriousness, I didn’t hate everything about Onward. There were some funny moments, and I think even Pixar’s worst is always an entertaining time. There are definitely people who will like this. But for me, it just feels like another tired attempt for Pixar to play it safe and stick to their patented Pixar-style punch-you-in-the-gut emotional coming of age stories based on half-baked “What if?” ideas.

I would love to see them do something different, and take a massive risk. With the massive budget and solid teamwork they now have, I’m surprised they’ve stuck to this format for so long. The Pixar Sparkshorts on Disney+ are an interesting first attempt at this, but none have really stood out to me on their own, and they definitely feel like something that a small team makes every month or so on their lunch breaks.

ONWARD REVIEW

Pixar used to be known for pushing the medium of animation forward with compelling new takes. Their films were a fun break from the typical cliches of family animation. Now they’re essentially pushing out Disney’s B-stories that don’t get the bigger spotlight. And sequels.

So is Pixar truly taking a step backward with Onward? It depends on how much you’re able to relate to all of their stories – for me, not a whole lot. Or how much an emotional ending is enough to convince you you liked the movie on your way out of the theater. Again, not much here for me. Maybe it just depends on how much you’re able to enjoy a kids’ movie without thinking about it too much. And clearly I can’t.

But that’s just me.

REVIEW: Look At This PHOTOGRAPH

13 February 2020 by Chris Ryan Leave a Comment

There’s a new great romantic classic to watch on Valentine’s Day this year. The Photograph is one I’m excited to review.

Regardless of me being graciously invited to this screening, I would have no doubt made plans to see this film on my own. The Photograph features Issa Rae and LaKeith Stanfield, two stars whose work has never been shy of amazing in my eyes. That fact alone was enough to sell me on it.

Luckily there was so much more in store.

A NEW ROMANCE

If you’ve seen any trailers for The Photograph, then you’ll know the basic plot – a reporter profiling a man in Louisiana finds there’s more to the story than he initially thought.

I’ll cut right to the chase, The Photograph isn’t anything incredibly groundbreaking. But it doesn’t necessarily need to be. For someone who’s always enjoyed this type of movie, The Photograph really worked. It’s the kind of movie that helps you remember what’s important, what’s worth committing to, and what’s worth sometimes leaving behind.

The romance genre is ready for another powerhouse like The Notebook, and I think The Photograph could fill that position. If nothing else, I at least appreciate the growing list of romantic films named after everyday items.

Of course it wouldn’t be a review by me if I didn’t mention the soundtrack, and this one was nice. There’s not very much in the way of a score (though what was there I did enjoy), but the actual songs used throughout really add to the overall mood. It’s something to get you in the mood that you can just vibe to, and felt very natural.

A GRAND PERFORMANCE

As I hinted at before, I’ll see literally anything with LaKeith Stanfield. And I’m a big Issa Rae fan too. Their performances in this were top notch.

The connection they had was genuine, and you felt as if they had actually been through this, and were experiencing this in real time. I honestly would not have been surprised if I had walked out of the theater, opened twitter, and saw they were actually dating. They felt that real.

And they weren’t the only ones! Rob Morgan and Chanté Adams have great chemistry too. Their characters add a surprising amount of depth that I didn’t anticipate, but certainly appreciated.

To top it off, when the movie was funny, it was funny. The whole cast felt like they had experience in comedic roles for the stage – that is to say, the pacing of the comedic moments felt really great, which is something that usually I can’t say for mainstream comedy.

THE PHOTOGRAPH

Overall, expect to laugh, expect to cry, and expect to enjoy it. There are some movies I see where I just get to enjoy them, and writing a review for The Photograph was one of those times. January is always a fun time at the theaters because it’s right after the heavy awards season, and movies can just be movies for fun. And this one was certainly fun.

REVIEW: Cats Was a Very Confusing Time

19 December 2019 by Chris Ryan Leave a Comment

I feel like there are a few things I should preface before this review. I am into theater, and really like musicals (I even liked the Tom Hooper version of Les Miserables), so I had already obviously been aware of Cats 2019. When the trailer came out, I think people reacted poorly because the characters look like people – not cats – but that’s what the original is, so it didn’t bother me at all.

But this is about where my knowledge ends. Other than the ‘Memory’ song, and the general idea that there wasn’t really much of a plot in the stage show, I had no prior impressions.

That being said, as the days counted down to my viewing of this movie, I found myself getting more and more excited about the prospect of seeing it. Let me be clear, in the four days before this movie, I watched all 10 previous Star Wars movies, and then attended a showing of Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker, and somehow was *still* more blindly excited for Cats. I was prepared for it to be a trainwreck that was funny in how bad it was, and mostly laughable because of the absurdity of it all. Surprisingly this was not the case.

Cats 2019 lives in a weird place in my head, because unlike all other things I’ve properly reviewed, I don’t necessarily ‘like it’ or ‘not like it’. There are a few movies like this for me – when you see 60+ new releases in the year, it happens. But I didn’t think Cats would be one of them.

Jellicle Cats

There are certainly a few things that really bothered me, but there were more than a few things that I did really enjoy. When this movie works, it really works. I think Tom Hooper did an excellent job in transferring this adaptation to the screen, and more so, Andy Blankenbuehler did an incredible job in modernizing the performances – but I’ll elaborate on that later.

So, let me begin with the few things that bothered me. One of the more annoying ones is hard to describe. I’m inclined to say ‘the cast,’ but I don’t know that having anyone different could’ve fixed the issue.

If you’ve seen any of the trailers you’ll be very aware of the star-power of this movie. Dame Judi Dench, Ian McKellen, Idris Elba, James Corden, the list goes on. Most of these celebrities play really very minor roles in the movie, and are more used to get people to come see it – as in, “Come see Cats starring Rebel Wilson” rather than, “Come see Cats, with the strange singing CGI animals.” But even with these minor roles, characters like Rebel Wilson-cat and James Corden-cat still manage to feel annoying and unnecessary. None of their one-liner “funny” banter occurred in any of the songs, and as a result felt like more of an obligation from the producers than an actual moment from the director.

The single thing that bothered me the most, though, was the scale. That is, the sizing of objects in relation to the cats, or even in relation to other objects. It’s one thing if a stage production of Cats the Musical has props that aren’t all directly proportionate to the cats themselves or the set around them, but when the $95M budget film version does it, it comes off as absurd.

It sounds like a minor gripe, but it really was very noticeable in some parts of the movie. It’s very hard to describe in text alone, but even if you’re not looking for it, I think you’ll definitely see it when you watch the movie. It’s even visible in some shots of the trailer – look at the surrounding objects and scenery during the Rebel Wilson shots.

Musical Cats

The last thing I wasn’t the biggest fan of, was the new original song. For the soundtrack of this version, they actually stayed mostly true to the 80s-synth-style backing tracks of the original, which I think made it a lot more fun and exciting. It certainly worked with the visual look they were trying to go for. But, as is the case with movie musicals, they added a new song that was not in the original. This track, ‘Beautiful Ghosts,’ was co-written by Taylor Swift and original composer Andrew Lloyd Webber, and it’s very easy to tell who wrote which parts.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m a very big Taylor Swift fan, but when this very stylized neon-dreamscape musical experience turns into a Taylor Swift music video halfway through, it feels very out of place. The same could be said about Swift’s take on the ‘Macavity’ track from the original. I like her songs, but she doesn’t have a very theatrical voice, and as a result, that otherwise totally fine scene feels like Taylor Swift running around in a cat outfit.

Conversely, as I started to say, I really enjoyed nearly all of the rest of the songs. Jason Derulo and Jennifer Hudson are the major players here, and they really make it worth their while. James Corden obviously entertains. But this starts to touch on another issue I had, the lack of spotlight for the rest of its cast.

Theatrical Cats

The ‘main character’ of the movie is played by Francesca Hayward, a principal ballerina at the Royal Ballet, but she isn’t shown very often. I’m okay with this because she’s actually the most uninteresting of all of the cats – her character isn’t in the original, she just plays the role of the audience, to whom many of the songs are directly sung in the original. But I think the best performances come from Robbie Fairchild and Laurie Davidson. They have gotten absolutely zero public press, but are far and away the most entertaining members of the cast.

Visually this movie is a treat, if you can look past the scaling issue. With Andy Blankenbuehler – of Hamilton and In the Heights fame – it’s no surprise the choreography was amazing. Even the simple addition of tail-choreography (something not possible in the stage version), works so well. I noticed too that the director was very successful in making the audience aware of the position of each independent cat at all times, a sure challenge with such a large ensemble that’s always on screen. This made it feel like a stage production that was just filmed, rather than a movie version of a musical.

Fantastical Cats

I thought the experience, as a whole, was fun. It has its lows, which every production does, but it never stopped being entertaining. That’s what makes it so conflicting to rank amongst other movies this year. Was it bad? Aspects, yes. I didn’t even touch on the objectively off-putting CGI, but that’s because during some parts of the movie it’s not even noticeable because of how fun the numbers are. But it wasn’t terrible by any means.

I think if you don’t like musicals, you won’t like Cats, because the barrier to entry is pretty unforgiving, even for the stage version. But if you do, you’re likely already able to look past all of its shortcomings to appreciate the parts you will like even more.

Maybe the real cat was the friends we made along the way.

REVIEW: The Rise of Skywalker

18 December 2019 by Chris Ryan Leave a Comment

To prepare for Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker, I watched all 10 previous Star Wars films – yes, including Solo and Rogue One, in the span of 4 days. 20+ hours of content, all leading up to this. And yes, it was worth it.

Before I get too far, I’ve ALREADY seen some spoilers floating around online, so I’d like to be clear that I will not be spoiling anything in this review. But if you’d like to be extra cautious and not read anything, just know that I liked it.

..Spoiler.

A Fitting End to the Greatest Story of Our Generation

Since The Force Awakens was released, the sequel trilogy has been my favorite of the three. Something about it has felt so much more full of life and fully realized than either the original nor the prequels ever did. Doing this full marathon ahead of time only strengthened that belief for me.

A lot of people like to find issue with 2017’s The Last Jedi, but I personally loved it. I do recognize some things I think Rian Johnson attempted that didn’t work out as well as others, but I don’t think that those mistakes were to the detriment of the story as a whole.

The Rise of Skywalker, to me, was a fitting end to this trilogy. I think they identified some of those things that didn’t work out so well, and paid them off tenfold.

I think it’s also just a good movie. Star Wars to me has always been successful at being a well made film on top of an interesting story and exciting action. The music, the visual atmosphere, the direction, are all excellently done. Also, it was funny. Like, really funny. When watching this full marathon of movies, C3-PO is one of the only constant characters through the full length of the story, but I never thought he was particularly notable. In this movie, not only is he a major player, he’s very funny!

I have seen a very large amount of new 2019 releases this year, so I don’t think this was a masterpiece by any stretch of the imagination, but I do believe that it was the best Star Wars has been executed on the screen, and I’m willing to defend that position (though most of that defense contains spoilers).

Succession of Skywalker

The Rise of Skywalker is a movie with a lot happening. Despite that, it never felt rushed, and it never felt like there was more than the director could handle.

One of my gripes with Last Jedi was that for the majority of the runtime, it juggles three story arcs of varying importance, and only one of them was really very exciting. Constantly switching between these unrelated events did make it feel very clunky at times. Skywalker did not have this issue.

It perfectly handles the amount of characters it has to carry (akin to Kevin Feige’s management of the MCU entourage), and is able to introduce new stakes without it seeming incredibly far fetched or rushed to try and clean them up.

Legacy of Skywalker

I will not be going into incredible detail, because I know that personally I would consider anything about Star Wars a spoiler, otherwise I could go on and on about specific moments that I think were incredibly masterful. It paid tribute to the legacy of the original films and of Carrie Fisher. It definitely was an honest homage to what Star Wars has become.

I know that some people will not like this movie. With a fanbase of this scale, you can’t please everyone, and Disney/Lucasfilm is already on thin ice to most people because of Last Jedi and because of general lack of faith with JJ Abrams. That upsets me, honestly, because I do think that, to genuine Star Wars fans, this is a fantastic finale. It is, in every aspect, a Star Wars movie. For every great moment in the previous movies, this one single film has a version of that and it was amazing.

A vocal group of Star Wars fans believe that the story should’ve ended with Return of the Jedi, and that everything since has been a mistake, and will never be as good as the originals. Obviously this is an incredibly narrow minded view, but I think it’s especially frustrating, because the amount of care and respect that has gone into the sequel trilogy is truly immeasurable. Skywalker is the culmination of those efforts.

I think the best recommendation that I can make is that if you go into the theater expecting to not like this movie because it’s not the three movies you saw from the original trilogy back in the day, then you won’t like it. Skywalker doesn’t try to recreate Return of the Jedi. It doesn’t even try to recreate The Empire Strikes Back. Skywalker is its own story and will define its own path.

Thankfully, I will be seeing it again very soon, and am very excited to do so. I think this quote from the Last Jedi sums the film up well:

“We are what they grow beyond”
– Master Yoda

REVIEW: Frozen 2 Stays Warm

21 November 2019 by Chris Ryan Leave a Comment

If you were to read all of my other reviews on here and make an assumption as to what I thought of Frozen II, you would probably guess that I didn’t like it. And I’m happy to say that would be very incorrect!

I’ll start by saying that I had no expectations at all. I liked the original Frozen, but I certainly wasn’t obsessed with it or anything. I didn’t think it was anywhere near their best animated feature, but it was enjoyable. Fun and funny and fresh and new. Deep down somewhere, I was probably a little worried for Frozen II, because the previous animated film before this was another sequel, and worse, it was Ralph Breaks the Internet. I knew it couldn’t get worse than that, at least.

Luckily all of these slight worries were immediately sheltered in Frozen II. I thought that it too was fun and funny, and despite being a sequel to one of the most popular movies of the decade, it felt very new too. The characters we quickly came to love (or come to appreciate via Stockholm Syndrome of their impact on the company) are back, and they feel just like they did 6 years ago. I guess Some Things Never Change (cue theme of using the song titles in this post).

Frozen was certainly a notable moment in Disney history, and I think Frozen II was a very appropriate successor.

From the Academy Award®-winning team—directors Jennifer Lee and Chris Buck, and producer Peter Del Vecho—and featuring the voices of Idina Menzel, Kristen Bell, Jonathan Groff and Josh Gad, and the music of Oscar®-winning songwriters Kristen Anderson-Lopez and Robert Lopez, Walt Disney Animation Studios’ “Frozen 2” opens in U.S. theaters on Nov. 22, 2019.
©2019 Disney. All Rights Reserved.

All Is Found

The biggest factors that contribute to this are twofold. Technically, this movie is stunning. It’s incredibly beautiful, and it’s the first Disney movie I had seen in this IMAX theater that I actually thought really benefited from that format. The backgrounds are crazy intricate, and the characters even better. The environments feel very breathable, and despite a lot of them being very new, they immediately feel welcoming and real.

The Frozen 2 soundtrack is the other key factor here. It’s no surprise that Frozen had a great soundtrack, that, like it or not, produced some of the most prolific Disney songs in recent memory. I can only speak for myself here, but I think the new film matches that and then some. I never knew I needed Jonathan Groff singing an 80s rock ballad with a bunch of reindeer, but apparently I did, and I don’t know how I lived without it. Obviously I can’t predict whether they will all be hits or not, but I can very easily imagine that being the case.

REINDEER GAMES — – In Walt Disney Animation Studios’ “Frozen 2,” Kristoff and Sven find themselves among a herd of reindeer. Featuring Jonathan Groff as the voice of Kristoff (and Sven), “Frozen 2” opens in U.S. theaters on Nov. 22, 2019. © 2019 Disney. All Rights Reserved.

Even the musical motifs that are carried through the length of the film are incorporated so masterfully that they connect all of the songs together, or even connect some songs to songs in the original film. I was *very* impressed.

The Next Right Thing

I would be remiss if I didn’t mention Ralph Breaks the Internet more though – that is to say, why I think this movie succeeds where that one did not at all. Ralph 2, for me, (and for Zannaland herself) felt like it lacked any real purpose, and didn’t gain it by the end. It showed a story we didn’t care about, with characters we didn’t need to hear more from, and was comprised largely of elements that just didn’t work together right for me. Ralph 2 got Lost in the Woods, but Frozen 2 stayed the path through and through.

The biggest issue, though, (and where I think Frozen II shines brightest) was that Ralph 2 felt incredibly un-Disney. Frozen II is a Disney movie through and through, and one that I know I will happily watch again and again, which I think I can say about exactly zero other Disney sequels. And, oh yeah, it was FUNNY! There were a lot of moments where I genuinely laughed, which is a nice change of pace from, say Maleficent 2, where I laughed more out of fear that it would never end.

Overall, Frozen II was great fun, and I enjoyed it way more than I thought I would. Now, if you don’t mind, I have to go back to listening to the Panic! at the Disco cover of ‘Into the Unknown’ for the 300th time. INTO THE UNKNOOOOOOOOWN!