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Christian Ryan

About Christian Ryan

Christian Ryan is a film cynic and porg enthusiast from Orlando, FL.

REVIEW: MULAN 2020 is The Highest Budget Hallmark Movie

5 September 2020 by Christian Ryan 2 Comments

Mulan 2020 movie poster On Thursday, March 19th, 2020, I was scheduled to attend a press screening of Disney’s Mulan. I thought this would be a totally normal event – and the last screening I attended was not too long prior: The Hunt (a movie so egregiously bad I couldn’t even bring myself to review it). But on March 12th, I was informed that the screening had been cancelled as the release of the film had been postponed. Needless to say, a few other significant events have taken place since then.

Because of this, Mulan 2020 kept piquing my interest. I was already invested into the concept of the film: the original 1998 film is a classic, and while this one was certainly different, I thought the trailer looked really good. In any event, when the time finally came for its release, I couldn’t wait to take a look.

HONORING THE PAST

2020’s Mulan is a testament to Disney’s in-house production teams’ ability to make only one kind of film anymore: the high-budget, low-effort blockbuster. This is really all you can find looking back at their previous releases. From shot-for-shot live action remakes of their animated successes, to 22 superhero stories that they know will draw an audience just because of the Marvel name. They know that if the poster says ‘Disney’ on it, people will buy it, and because of that, they really don’t have to try.

So can you tell I wasn’t the biggest fan of Mulan 2020?

Mulan 2020The movie also draws upon its recent predecessors stylistically. That is to say, even though the tone of the plot is very different, if this movie came on during a Marvel movie marathon, it wouldn’t be all too jarring. It’s shot in the same way: big establishing shots of the lush CGI world they built, faster-than-you-can-blink cuts during action sequences, and shots that are staged almost exclusively with trailers or promotional videos in mind.

I will give them this: in our home theater, we have a very good screen, and this movie was a great way to showcase that. Most of the recent releases on Disney+ are presented in 4K UHD with Dolby Vision, so even a shot of a bug crawling on the ground looks fantastic. 

BE TRUE

Mulan 2020One of the biggest headlines about this movie before it even came out was that it was a more ‘realistic’ telling of the Mulan legend. They nixed the songs, the dragon sidekick, and all the other cartoon-y choices that the 1998 version added themselves. 

I was very interested in this as soon as this was announced. Yes, the soundtrack to the 1998 version is good, but it only has four songs anyway, so I wouldn’t miss them (sidenote, if you like the soundtrack of the original, do yourself a favor and research how much of a mess it apparently was to make). And while Mushu is a fun character, I’m always in favor of changing that type of thing for realism – I’m a big fan of how it was done in Aladdin on Broadway to change the monkey sidekick into three human friends of Aladdin.

However, maybe the biggest reason I was looking forward to a new take on the plot, was following the recent Lion King movie – a full blown shot-for-shot remake of the original with almost nothing added and almost nothing removed. A new telling of the story means that it’s more likely to justify its purpose as a live action remake, something that none of them have been able to do thus far.

Ultimately, this was not the result. The movie relies very heavily on its audience’s pre-existing knowledge of the original film, despite being so starkly and, honestly, harshly different from it. It’s loaded with visual references to the original. Something will happen, and the film will pause for a beat, and wait for the audience to say “Hey, that’s the thing from the original movie, I remember that!” Or the soundtrack, which, while not including the lyricized songs from the original, plays the instrumentals of them in emotional moments, so you again say “Aww, I remember that.”

I say it comes off as harsh because while the movie devotes so much time to profiting off of the audiences memory of the first, it’s also completely different plot-wise. While we hear the powerful instrumental of ‘Reflection’ from the first film, we watch our new Mulan use the force to kick arrows into the chest of a nameless enemy.

Yeah, I guess we should talk about the force.

MULAN’S MIDI-CHLORIANS ARE OFF THE CHARTS

Mulan 2020 villains1998’s Mulan is a movie that empowers young girls to take a stand, and shows them that even if the world says they’re of less value, they can be just as strong and powerful as those that hold them down. You would think that, in (current year), 2020’s Mulan would try to do the same. And to an extent, it does, but it does so oh-so strangely.

From literally the very first scene, Mulan is described as using Chi. Now, I’m aware that chi is a real thing in Chinese culture. It’s described as an underlying principle in traditional Chinese medicine or martial arts. And, while it is a ‘force’ that is in tune with your energy flow, the movie treats it as a midi-chlorian-style ‘force that binds us’ that can be used to grant someone jedi-like abilities in dexterity.

It’s underlying message may be one of female-empowerment, but the movie pushes very heavily that Mulan can only succeed because she has some innate supernatural ability. She is a weak fighter – everyone in the Imperial Army seems to be. But by harnessing her ‘inner Chi’ she can be ‘just as good as the men.’ It’s very bizarre, and honestly belittles her character. She’s never able to take down opponents one-on-one: every single fight she takes part in ends with her “controlling her Chi” to do a flip-kick and toss a spear or an arrow back into them.

The film even does a Revenge of the Sith-level side plot where a villain who has mastered their Chi tries to influence Mulan into joining the ‘dark side,’ so that she can realize the full potential of her power.

THE HIGHEST BUDGET HALLMARK MOVIE

Obviously I felt strongly enough about this to make it the title of the review, but it’s true. The movie is all around just pretty mediocre. We followed up our viewing of Mulan by watching 2019’s The Lion King, which, let’s just say, I’m notably not a fan of. At least with The Lion King (while upsetting that it exists), it is still just ‘The Lion King’ so it’s a fun story with fun songs and is just fun in general. Mulan 2020 is really very different from the original film in about every aspect. This upsets me, because like I said before, that normally would be a reason that I would enjoy it. But it’s different in a few too many ways.

This is a humourless, bland, movie. There is action, the music is good. It’s very pretty to look at. Most of the costumes are nice. But I don’t think I would ever bother watching it again because most unfortunately of all, it’s just boring.

This Mulan is the equivalent of, instead of watching the original film, someone just describes to you the original Ballad of Mulan upon which it is based. The pacing is very strange, so it feels like someone just telling the story in a very haphazard way. And, despite starring seasoned vets like Donnie Yen and Jet Li, the acting is notably bad. Aside from Jason Scott Lee, every actor here gives the most lackluster boring performances of their career. For some, like Jet Li, it feels like the only filmed one take before he just walked off set and they had to use it.

Mulan 2020 EmperorBecause of all of this, it truly feels like a Hallmark movie in both it’s plot and it’s production. The acting is subpar, the plot and writing is very low-quality, the special effects feel rushed, the list honestly goes on.

There’s more I could say about the plot alone, like how the villains (specifically the witch Xian Lang) are legitimately the only redeemable characters. Every member of the Imperial Army and of her own family dislikes and belittles Mulan, and she relentlessly follows them to the ends of the earth regardless. Meanwhile, the villains of the movie, donned in all black, with mysterious intent and magical witch in tow, provide a Palpatine-esque alternative that actually sounds way more appealing than what any of the other characters are offering Mulan.

IN CONCLUSION

I don’t want it to sound like this is a terrible terrible movie that is not worth anyone’s time. It’s not. It’s, at worst, “okay.” But it’s also the -nth “okay” movie that Disney has released in a row, and it’s tiresome at this point. This is objectively a better film than The Lion King, for example, but it’s so boring and bizarre that that’s like saying an ant bite is better than a bee sting – I’d still rather not have either.

What makes it worse, is that it’s thirty freaking dollars – or at least $29.99. Not including the Disney+ subscription that everyone who will watch this movie undoubtedly already has. Very, very few movies are worth that much, and there is absolutely no universe at all in which this one is.

Mulan 2020

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Filed Under: Disney Movie News & Reviews, Movie Reviews, Movies & Books, Reviews, Top Stories Tagged With: 2020 disney, 2020 disney movie, Disney movie review, Disney movies, Disney Plus, disney plus original, disney plus review, disney review, Mulan, mulan 2020, mulan review

Disney Closes All US Stores In COVID-19 Response

16 March 2020 by Christian Ryan Leave a Comment

In response to the growing COVID-19 pandemic, Disney previously announced the closure of all its parks worldwide, effective as of today, March 16th. This morning, Disney has provided a new update on the operations of more of its properties.

In a statement from the Walt Disney World website, Disney writes,

In line with state and federal guidance, in an abundance of caution and in the best interest of our guests and cast members we are proceeding with the closure of all Disney stores in North America, beginning March 17. Guests continue to visit shopDisney.com.

Disney will also be closing all of its owned and operated locations at Downtown Disney in Anaheim and Disney Springs in Orlando, beginning March 17. Individual tenants will make decisions on whether to continue or adjust operations.

Additionally, Disney owned and operated hotels at Walt Disney World Resort and Disney’s Vero Beach Resort will close at 5pm on Friday, March 20. This will give Guests the ability to make other arrangements.

We will continue to monitor the situation and maintain regular contact with the appropriate officials and health experts.

This tells us that all first-party Disney locations at Disney Springs and Downtown Disney will close, including World of Disney, Marketplace Co-Op, and the newly opened NBA Experience. This also includes all first-party Disney stores around the country.

Few third-party locations have provided details on their continuing operating hours. Some larger tenants, like AMC Theaters have announced their policy for their stores nation-wide. We suggest doing your own research into locations you may need to visit during this time.

We will continue to post updates on the operations of the parks as they are announced.

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Filed Under: Disney News, Disney Parks, Resorts, & Entertainment, Disneyland Resort, Official Disney, Walt Disney World Tagged With: coronavirus, covid 19, disney closed, Disney Covid 19, Disney Springs, Disneyland, Downtown Disney, Walt Disney World, World of Disney

NEW Florida Resident Staycation Offer at SeaWorld Orlando

12 March 2020 by Christian Ryan Leave a Comment

EDITED TO ADD: SeaWorld and all area theme parks are closed for the remainder of March due to Coronavirus concerns, so this ticket offer is no longer available. Stay tuned for further updates about local area theme parks.

SeaWorld Orlando announced today that their Florida residents can take advantage of a very special offer this weekend!

Starting today, March 12, SeaWorld Orlando Parks are offering Florida Residents a staycation promotion! Florida Residents can save up to 60% on SeaWorld tickets as low as $49.99, Aquatica tickets as low as $34.99, and a SeaWorld/Aquatica 2 park ticket for only $59.99.

The promotion starts today, March 12th, and ends March 16th – better act fast to score those deals! The promotion comes just in time for the Seven Seas Food Festival, ongoing at the park through March and April.

The nearby Discovery Cove will be participating in the offer as well, offering Florida Residents a 40% discount if they book their reservation by March 16 and visit by May 20, 2020.

For more info and to take advantage of this deal, click here. Or to score even more, and visit Discovery Cove too, click here for more information on that deal.

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Filed Under: Florida Theme Parks & Attractions, Orlando Area Resorts, Sea World Orlando Tagged With: aquatica, aquatica orlando, Discovery Cove, florida resident, Florida residents deals, Sea World, SeaWorld, SeaWorld Orlando, seaworld pass, water park, water park orlando

Disney California Adventure Spider-Man Ride DETAILS ANNOUNCED

11 March 2020 by Christian Ryan Leave a Comment

During a shareholders meeting this morning, Disney CEO Bob Chapek announced new details for the upcoming spider-man themed ride at the Avengers Campus, opening this summer.

Titled ‘Web Slingers: A Spider-Man Adventure,’ the ride will give guests their own web-slinging powers as they team with Spider-Man to take on an army of spider-bots on the loose.

Walt Disney Imagineering creative executive director Brent Strong reveals,

At WEB, young inventors like Peter Parker have been brought together by Tony Stark to help create technologies that allow everyday people like us to have powers just like the Avengers. When we get inside, we find out that they’re not quite as well funded as Stark Enterprises. They’re not quite as militaristic as SHIELD. In fact, they’re not all that organized at all. These are some kids that have some amazing power, right? Vibranium from Wakanda, Pym Particles from Ant-Man. They have arc reactors from Tony Stark. In fact, they probably have a little bit more power than they have responsibility.

In a ride similar to this, Toy Story Midway Mania, guests use a blaster triggered by pulling a cord to hit targets. Superpowers don’t work like this though, and the folks at WDI had to figure out a more natural and immersive way to perform tasks on this new attraction.

What you won’t see is people holding onto a blaster, people holding onto an interface. Believe it or not, with nothing in your hands, you get to reach out and you will sling webs on this ride. In order to do that we invented a brand new interface.

This is the first time we’ve ever shown this outside [of Imagineering]. This is a gesture recognition system that we have built into every slinger vehicle and sixty times a second, we are able to determine where a guest’s head is, their shoulders, their elbows, and even their wrists. We’re able to track the motion of your body so that when you reach out and sling a web, since we know where your eyes are, and we know where your hands are, we can render a virtual web coming right out of the palm of your hand, right out of your virtual web-shooters and into a virtual world.

Strong also said that there are no age or height requirements for the ride, making it more accessible to all families.

This is something where guests of all ages get to live out that epic action, which is wonderful.

The ride will feature Spider-Man himself, as voiced by Tom Holland, who will explain the situation before loading guests into the new ride vehicles, called ‘slinger vehicles.’

Earlier this year, it was also announced that the ride would feature a brand-new, stunt-performing animatronic of the web-slinger himself.

We’re super excited for this brand new experience at Disney California Adventure, so stay tuned for all our future updates on it!

The Avengers Campus opens July 18th, 2020 at Disney California Adventure park.

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Filed Under: Disney Attractions, Disney News, Disney Parks, Resorts, & Entertainment, Disneyland Resort, Latest News Tagged With: Avengers, Avengers Campus, avengers ride, DCA, Disney California Adventure, Marvel, marvel ride, marvel super heroes, spider man, spider man ride, web slingers

MARVEL Avengers Campus OPENING DATE Announced

11 March 2020 by Christian Ryan Leave a Comment

During a shareholders meeting this morning, Disney CEO Bob Chapek has announced that guests will be able to meet some of their favorite adventures beginning July 18th, 2020!

The Avengers Campus is the brand-new Marvel themed area expansion to Disney California Adventure, which replaces the former a bug’s land area. In this new land of the park, guests will be recruited by the Avengers to become the next generation of super heroes.

July 18th is the scheduled date for Phase One of the area’s completion. This includes the brand new Spider-Man experience, which is the first Disney-built ride-through attraction to feature the web-slinger himself. Guests can also enjoy the currently open Guardians of the Galaxy: Mission BREAKOUT! attraction, as a part of the land’s adventures.

Phase Two of the land, which will include the new Avengers-themed E-ticket attraction is still yet to come.

Avengers Campus will also feature the Pym Test Kitchen, an Ant-Man and The Wasp themed dining location specializing in growing and shrinking every-day food with Pym Technology.

Stay tuned here for all the latest updates on the Avengers Campus, and all over Disney parks and resorts.

 

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Filed Under: Disney Attractions, Disney News, Disney Parks, Resorts, & Entertainment, Disneyland Resort, Latest News Tagged With: Avengers, Avengers Campus, avengers ride, DCA, Disney California Adventure, guardians of the galazy, Marvel, marvel super heroes, spider man, spider man ride

Raglan Road’s Mighty St. Patrick’s Festival Returns to Disney Springs

10 March 2020 by Christian Ryan Leave a Comment

A great annual event is returning this week—the Mighty St. Patrick’s Festival at Raglan Road Irish Pub & Restaurant returns to Disney Springs! Break out your green and celebrate for five days of fun March 13-17 with non-stop Irish-infused entertainment from morning until night, a mighty selection of beers and cocktails and of course, the most authentic Irish pub grub around.

The Disney Parks blog has released quite a bit of info on this event:

The regular menu will be available during the event featuring your favorite go-to dishes like the Guinness-infused Bangin’ Bangers and Mighty Mash. Planning to stop by over the weekend? The Rollicking Raglan Weekend Brunch will be served March 14 and 15 from 9 a.m. to 3 pm.

Guests who dine on Monday, March 16 can enjoy a new whiskey pairing dinner from 3-11 p.m. featuring a special prix fixe menu with locally sourced dishes like Whiskey Cured House Smoked Salmon and Apple Baked Dumplings paired with the finest Irish whiskey cocktails.

One of the most thrilling highlights of this annual event is the amazing live entertainment hand-picked straight from Ireland. Here’s a look at this year’s line-up:

  • Strings & Things will bring their contemporary Irish Trad/Folk/Roots crossover talent from Tipperary and Galway to the festival stage. Their unique sound and powerful stage energy promise a raucous evening of music and song.
  • TradGad features three talented musicians from Kerry, Dublin and Galway charming guests with their vibrant performances on guitar, fiddle, mandolin, uilleann pipes, tin whistle, banjo and bouzouki.
  • Maca, an Irish sister duo dubbed “Ireland’s next big thing” will rock the Raglan Road Pub stages with their extraordinary talent.
  • Fia Rua, featuring band members from Ireland and Scotland, will blend their musical backgrounds to perform and wow guests with a unique Celtic sound.
  • Mike Waters, from the southeast of Ireland, will perform Irish songs and ballads from traditional to contemporary with a good measure of chat and humor.
  • Emily Furlong, an extraordinary singer and entertainer from Wexford, Ireland will captivate guests with her stunning voice.
  • No Half Measures, an exciting, fresh and vibrant four-piece band from Scotland, Cork and Kilkenny will spin their youthful, contemporary sound for the Mighty Festival audience.

Of course, don’t miss the popular Raglan Road Irish Dancers plucked from the cast and stages of the world’s greatest Irish dance shows! They’ll be performing intermittently during the festival and ready to teach you an Irish jig – no experience necessary! Kids will also have a blast at this family-friendly party so be sure to bring everyone dressed in their best green garb and enjoy complimentary face painting.

For those planning to celebrate on St. Patrick’s Day, be sure to plan ahead for the fun! On March 17, guests will be seated on a first-come, first-serve basis with a cover charge of $10 for each guest 18 and older. Reservations can be booked online for other festival days, including brunch by calling 407-938-0300.

This release was originally posted on the Disney Parks Blog.

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Filed Under: Disney Dining, Official Disney, Walt Disney World Tagged With: Disney Dining, Disney Springs, Disney Springs events, disney springs food, irish disney, Raglan Road, st patricks day

NEW TRAILER for Disney’s Jungle Cruise!

10 March 2020 by Christian Ryan Leave a Comment

Disney has just released a brand new trailer for the upcoming Jungle Cruise, starring Dwayne Johnson and Emily Blunt, in theaters July 24. Check it out below!

Disney also released a new poster for Jungle Cruise alongside this trailer. We’re certainly.. interested to see this one, so stay tuned here to see our review when the live action Jungle Cruise film comes out this summer.

Jungle Cruise movie poster

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Filed Under: Disney Movie News & Reviews, Official Disney Tagged With: disney jungle cruise, Disney movie, disney ride, disney ride movie, dwayne johnson, Emily Blunt, jungle cruise, jungle cruise movie

The Final Trailer for Marvel Studios’ ‘Black Widow’ is HERE!

10 March 2020 by Christian Ryan Leave a Comment

Marvel Studios’ Black Widow is less than two months away, in theaters on May 1! To get you hyped on the upcoming action-packed spy thriller, Marvel has released this brand new final trailer. Check it out below!

In the trailer, Yelena gives more viewers (and Natasha) insight to the mysterious Taskmaster—he controls the Red Room, the program that churns out young women into the most elite assassins. Yelena states the women are manipulated, fully conscious but no choices. Nat hints that during her time, before the Avengers, she had made mistakes and a few enemies.

Nat expresses regret that she should have come back for Yelena. In order to take down Taskmaster, they must go back to where it all began—bringing the fam back together. With Alexei and Melina, their parental figures, Nat and Yelena have a shot in ensuring Taskmaster could never harm young women again.

We look forward to seeing the movie, so be sure to come back here to check out our review when it comes out this summer.

In addition to the trailer, Black Widow also dropped the latest theatrical poster, below:

This is release was originally posted on Marvel.com

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Filed Under: Disney Movie News & Reviews, Official Disney Tagged With: Avengers, Black Widow, Marvel, Marvel Avengers, Marvel Cinematic Universe, Marvel movie, Marvel Studios, scarlett johansen

NIK WALLENDA to Perform Stunt at LEGOLAND’s Pirate Island Hotel Opening

10 March 2020 by Christian Ryan Leave a Comment

World-renown daredevil Nik Wallenda has announced that he will be ‘walking the plank’ at the grand opening of LEGOLAND Florida Resort’s all-new Pirate Island Hotel. The stunt is scheduled to air live on ABC for all to view!

LEGOLAND Florida Resort writes,

In true pirate-fashion, Wallenda will “walk the plank” from inside the theme park to the new hotel to kick off the resort’s opening festivities on Thursday, April 16. LEGOLAND Florida Resort park and hotel guests are invited to take part in the fun and watch the nail-biting stunt safely from the ground.

This event will be no “walk in the park” for the Wallenda Team as they will construct a high wire longer than 500 feet for the walk. They will also work closely with LEGOLAND master model builders to craft LEGO bricks onto Wallenda’s 28-foot balance pole.

LEGOLAND and Nik Wallenda fans alike can stay tuned to Facebook and Instagram as the park releases additional details on how to watch the stunt unfold live on Thursday, April 16.

NEW! LEGOLAND® Pirate Island Hotel Grand Opening – April 17

Located just 130 kid-steps from the theme park entrance, LEGOLAND Pirate Island Hotel will feature 150 LEGO-filled rooms (including four suites), a heated pool (complete with LEGO soft bricks to build in the pool), hundreds of LEGO models, exclusive character experiences and in-room LEGO treasure hunts. Similar to the popular LEGOLAND Hotel, each room will include two separate spaces: a kid’s sleeping area and an adult area.

The five-story hotel will house the pirate-themed Shipwreck Restaurant with family-style dining, Smuggler’s Bar for adult swashbucklers, an entertainment area with kid-friendly nightly programming and LEGO play areas. Directly outside the entrance to the hotel, a pirate shipwreck will greet guests and offer a unique photo opportunity.

LEGOLAND Florida Resort has also prepared a brief video to tell us more about the event!

[videopress hF5wR6Ny]

The Pirate Island Hotel will officially open to the public on Fri., April 17. Reservations are available at LEGOLAND.com/pirateisland

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Filed Under: Florida Theme Parks & Attractions, Latest News, LEGOLAND Florida, Places to Stay Tagged With: grand opening, LEGOLAND, LEGOLAND Florida, legoland florida resort, legoland pirate, nik wallenda, pirate hotel, pirate island hotel

NEW Amorette’s Patisserie Signature Beverage

10 March 2020 by Christian Ryan Leave a Comment

We’re head over “ears” for the new Amorette’s Patisserie Signature beverage featuring Rosa Regale!

Amorette’s Patisserie is located at the Town Center area of Disney Springs. More info including hours, pricing, and a full menu can be found here.

This post is originally from the Disney Springs instagram account.

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Filed Under: Disney Dining, Official Disney Tagged With: amorettes, amorettes patisserie, Disney Dining, disney food, Disney Springs, disney springs food, town center

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