Reviews

REVIEW: Lightyear is the Pixar Story We Didn’t Know We Needed

15 June 2022 by Suzannah Otis Leave a Comment

Ok, so no one really thought we needed a Buzz Lightyear backstory, right? I was of the same mind, and thought this was a very silly attempt at extending the Toy Story franchise beyond its natural life and wasting all of our time. At a recent Lightyear screening, I was proven very wrong. My Lightyear review will not contain major spoilers, but will discuss some on-screen things (which have previously been discussed in the press), so proceed at your own risk if you’d like to be surprised. I will not discuss the major reveal toward the end of the film, so that major spoiler is safe.

Going back to my initial frame of mind when I saw the first real trailer for Lightyear, as an extreme David Bowie fan, I was slightly offended that they used his “Starman“ in the trailer for what I thought was such a pointless film. At the end of the movie (which didn’t use the song at all by the way), I took back my offense. Like many, I assumed this was based on the life of the “real world” person Buzz Lightyear, and had nothing really to do with Toy Story at all. In the first frame, we are told that “…in 1995, a boy named Andy received a toy Buzz Lightyear, based on his favorite movie. This is that movie.” Already, that made more sense to me, and I wish they’d explained that going in, I think it would’ve been more accepted from the start.

The film itself is genuinely entertaining from start to finish. We learn briefly about Space Rangers and what they do. We see Buzz as a devoted ranger, his friend and fellow ranger Hawthorne, and their latest mission. Something goes wrong, and the entire team is stranded on a planet, which Buzz feels is his fault. He works to get them off the planet and test out the hyper speed crystal fusion fuel they need to get back home. The only problem with all of his attempted and failed tests, is that Buzz is gone for minutes, while years and years pass by on the planet he’s returning to.

Buzz Lighyear and Sox — © 2021 Disney/Pixar. All Rights Reserved.

To help him with his guilt over stranding people on this alien planet, Hawthorne gives Buzz a “personal companion robot” named Sox. He is a robotic cat, who truly steals the show and gives it its heart. Even when things seem serious or dire, Sox can find a way to help and inject humor with his “loading” noises of just “meowmeowmeowmeow” or “beepboopbeepboop.” It really helps keep the movie firmly in the kids zone and something that Andy would’ve appreciated as a kid, I think. (Although I’m pretty disappointed we didn’t get Sox toys back in 1995 when Toy Story came out.) Sox is the friend and co-pilot we all need.

Again, I won’t give anything more in this Lightyear review than what I’ve said above away, but suffice it to say, Buzz learns some valuable lessons about friendship, accepting help, and what life is all about. I will also note that there is a lesbian couple in the film, garnering its being banned in Saudi Arabia. The storyline is very subtly displayed, and portrayed as just “normal” which of course, is how it should be. I like to think about 1995 Andy watching this movie and thinking nothing of it as well, just a couple, no other adjectives needed. I wish Pixar had been so bold back in 1995, and I wish the world would’ve been as accepting as most of it is today. Strides are finally being made however, and acceptance and inclusion is becoming the norm.

So while of course we didn’t need another Toy Story movie, I think we did need the lessons Lightyear doles out and I will happily add this to one of my favorite Pixar tales. And tails. I’m totally getting a plush Sox just as soon as I finish posting this Lightyear review. (Here are two options below!)

Sox the Cat on Shop Disney — Sox the Cat on ShopDisney

Lightyear opens in theaters on June 17. I highly recommend heading out to see it, if only for the Sox moments. Until then, you can also enjoy some backstory as Disney+ invites fans to explore the history of Buzz Lightyear and get a sneak peek at the making of the all-new film.

Pixar Animation Studios’ “Beyond Infinity: Buzz and the Journey to Lightyear” explores the evolution of an icon, tracing Buzz Lightyear’s route from toy to the hero featured in the new film. Check out the trailer celebrating the launch of the documentary on Disney+.

Featuring filmmakers, storytellers, artists and members of the “Lightyear” voice cast, “Beyond Infinity: Buzz and the Journey to Lightyear” details how Buzz’s original action-figure design was realized, and how that look was translated years later into a human hero. Delving into the cultural impact of the galaxy’s most famous Space Ranger and his significance to Pixar filmmakers, this doc grapples with what actually is beyond infinity. It is directed by Tony Kaplan and produced by Sureena Mann.

Opening in theaters June 17, “Lightyear”—the definitive origin story of Buzz Lightyear (voice of Chris Evans), the hero who inspired the toy—follows the legendary Space Ranger on an intergalactic adventure. The film is directed by Angus MacLane (co-director “Finding Dory”) and produced by Galyn Susman (“Toy Story That Time Forgot”).

I hope you enjoyed this Lightyear review and it wasn’t too spoilery, I couldn’t not talk about how wonderful Sox the robot cat is. Let me know in the comments below if you see Lightyear and what you think!

Thanks to Disney D23 for the screening of Lightyear, as always, my opinions and thoughts are my own.

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Disney Book Review: A Portrait of Walt Disney World: 50 Years of the Most Magical Place On Earth

27 October 2021 by Scott Otis Leave a Comment

A Portrait of Walt Disney World: 50 Years of the Most Magical Place On Earth

By Kevin Kern, Tim O’Day & Steven Vagnini

“The boys and girls of the world regard a visit to Walt Disney World … as a must in their lives. It’s a magnet, it’s a mecca for the dreams of youth and for the inspiration of mature people.” Herb Ryman, Disney Legend, Imagineer and artist

When famed Disney artist and then-retired Imagineer Herb Ryman spoke these profound words in 1982, just after the opening of the brand new masterpiece EPCOT Center, little did he know just how prophetic he was, with Walt Disney World since growing to gargantuan proportions, with four full-fledged theme parks, two epic water parks, a massive shopping and dining district, more than two dozen themed hotels, a campground, and more leisure and recreational activities than one can possibly imagine.

It was right around this time, with the shiny futuristic Spaceship Earth beckoning me, that this Orange County California boy of 12, then fully devoted to the only thing he possibly knew or cared about, Disneyland, became fully aware of the wonders of Walt Disney World, and set his mind on getting his family, some way, somehow, to take a summer family vacation to the Most Magical Place on Earth. I finally got that trip in May and June of 1984, and my life changed forevermore, and I knew I’d spend the rest of my life here, in the other Orange County, in the shadows of the very Cinderella Castle that Herb Ryman so beautifully designed years before.

For its 25th Anniversary in 1996, noted Disney historian and author Jeff Kurtti graced the world with his amazing quintessential history of Walt Disney World up to that point, Since the World Began: Walt Disney World – The First 25 Years, and it has held a prominent place on the center bookshelf of my vast Disney book collection, and I’ve turned to that book time and time again in my never ending research of Walt Disney World.

As the 50th Anniversary was growing closer, I was hoping the Company would once again turn to Jeff to write a Part Two, the 2nd 25 Years of Walt Disney World. Alas, that did not happen. But instead, we Disney fans were in for a treat! Not one, not two, but THREE!! fully qualified Disney historians were tapped to author the companion book of Disney World’s Golden Anniversary. When I saw the names attached to this project, I knew it was in the right hands.

Kevin Kern is a longtime Walt Disney Archivist and an accomplished Disney historian and writer; Tim O’Day is one of the foremost experts on Disney history and an amazing idea man who has worked on countless Disney special events; and my dear friend Steven Vagnini has been a constant champion of Disney heritage and history in his vast career with the Disney Archives, the official Disney fan club D23 and his current role in Walt Disney Imagineering.

And boy, oh boy… they did not disappoint.

This enormous 320-page volume is chock full of stories, nuggets, facts, quotes, photographs, captions, drawings, detailed renderings and top secret blueprints, current and historical, of all things Walt Disney World. Rather than the usual chronological format, the authors chose to organize the proceedings almost by using the famous Disneyland plaque “Here You Leave Today and Enter the World of Yesterday, Tomorrow and Fantasy” as their guide.

Before they get into that, though, the authors begin the book with a look at Disney’s history with the State of Florida, and the inner workings of the Company that led them to build their Resort destination there, as well as the purchase of the land tracts, and the massive construction project that turned the vast square mileage of swampland into The Most Magical Place on Earth. They detail the master plans of Project Florida, including the idea of EPCOT, the progress city of the future, that was initially planned for this land. There are extensive amounts of rare and never-before-seen photographs of the early planning stages and construction, with Walt surveying the Florida landscape just before his untimely passing in December 1966.

This section is followed by three short essays from some very important people, remembering their role in all of this, including: Dick Nunis, the former Chairman of Walt Disney Attractions and Disney Legend looking back at the vast job the Company had ahead of them to build and open this stupendous project; Debby Dane Browne, Walt Disney World’s first Ambassador, fondly recalling her early days at the Preview Center, becoming the first Ambassador and her memories of the Grand Opening of the Magic Kingdom and all of Walt Disney World; and Roy Patrick Disney, the grandson of Roy O. Disney, telling stories of his grandfather, who selflessly delayed his own retirement, literally spending the rest of his life to foresee and lead the Company to opening Walt’s greatest legacy, dying mere weeks after its Grand Opening.

This is where the meat and potatoes of the book begins, separating all the different Park areas, lands, attractions, shows and other bits of all of Walt Disney World into the four categories of Nostalgia (An Idealized Yesteryear), Fantasy (The Art of Make Believe), Discovery (Adventure and Exploration) and Tomorrow (A Step into the Future).

Nostalgia includes examinations of such things as Main Street U.S.A., Liberty Square, Frontierland, Hollywood Boulevard and the Grand Floridian Resort. The Fantasy chapter is where you’ll find Fantasyland (of course), Pandora: The World of Avatar, Galaxy’s Edge and Blizzard Beach.

Adventureland, Harambe, The Living Seas, major portions of World Showcase, Wilderness Lodge and much more can be found in the Discovery section. The pages of Tomorrow are where you’ll find stories on Tomorrowland, Spaceship Earth, Mission: SPACE, Contemporary Resort, and such unique concepts as transportation, solar energy, the utilidors and much more.

This is such a fun way to categorize all the distinctive individual ideas that make up the entire 50 year history of Walt Disney World, all with comprehensive quotes, captions and researched and notated footnotes (there are separate bibliographic and endnotes listings for the text, the captions and the quotes found throughout the chapters).

I very much enjoyed reading this incredible historical volume, and inspecting all the amazing images found within, examining the details of things I thought I knew so well. I recommend you take a closer look at this book by clicking the image below, or stopping by your local independent bookseller to pick up your own personal copy!

What a way to celebrate 50 years of the Most Magical Place on Earth! Thank you, Kevin, Tim and Steven! Also thank you to Disney Publishing for providing us this book for review. As always, our thoughts and opinions are our own.

There are quite a few other books that Disney has released for the Walt Disney World 50th celebration. I’ll link them here: (these are Amazon affiliate links, with a very small portion of the purchase going back to the site – we appreciate your support!)

You can see Scott’s previous reviews here, and we also discuss and review A Portrait of Walt Disney World and others on one of our Up the Waterfall weekly LIVE shows (we have quite a few book discussions there so check them out and subscribe for more!):

REVIEW: DEAR EVAN HANSEN, Your Movie Is Bad

22 September 2021 by Chris Ryan Leave a Comment

As with all of my reviews, I want to make sure people are aware that I won’t be spoiling any of the plot here. That being said, the Dear Evan Hansen stage production premiered in 2016, and it’s been a moderately well known story since. Even if you’ve never heard a song off the soundtrack, you likely understand the concept of the story – which is so simple conceptually that you’ll be able to guess exactly how it ends.

Even if the film was good, the story would’ve been a hard sell on its own. To describe the film, the word that kept coming to mind was ‘cringe-worthy.’ Not ‘cringe’ in a modern ‘uncouth’ or ‘out of touch’ way, but cringe-worthy in the way you would describe watching someone’s marriage proposal get rejected. It’s just genuinely hard to watch Evan’s actions in the film – it’s not an enjoyable experience.

Evan Hansen is not a character that anyone is rooting for (and I don’t think by the end anyone will be), but the movie expects us to listen to this character who is so self-centered and sociopathic that he ruins the lives of people around him. I do believe that a large part of this is due to Evan’s casting – and we’ll get to that in a moment.

Dear Benj Pasek and Justin Paul,

Ben Platt as Evan Hansen in Dear Evan Hansen, directed by Stephen Chbosky.

I’d like to take a brief pause to talk about the music. It’s a big musical, so surely the music is good right? Well, not necessarily.

I personally have never been a fan of the songwriting duo behind Dear Evan Hansen. The only work of theirs I particularly enjoy is 2016’s La La Land – and that’s entirely because the soundtrack is primarily the work of Justin Hurwitz.

Benj Pasek and Justin Paul, who’s previous work also includes The Greatest Showman and two original songs for the 2019 Aladdin remake, have a particular style to their music – pop songs pretending to be musical theatre songs. And I definitely understand that some people are very big fans of their work – The Greatest Showman’s soundtrack is very popular to this day, and Dear Evan Hansen’s stage production won just about every Tony imaginable. It’s just not the best that the musical theatre genre has to offer, despite now making up its most popular tracks in decades.

Still, I would be lying if I said ‘Waving Through A Window’ didn’t make a frequent appearance in my musical theatre playlist. Before watching the film, I deliberately avoided listening to the original soundtrack again to enter bias-free. As a result, when the film began, I was really enjoying the first three tracks – and I thought to myself ‘Wow, this is way better than I remember!’ But after ‘Sincerely Me,’ the track list takes quite a dip.

The issue with Pasek and Paul’s work is that – with a few exceptions – most of their songs sound pretty identical. If you were to randomly assign a singer four songs from the duo’s discography, I don’t know if you’d be able to identify what songs came from what production.

Needless to say, there’s nothing in the film version that adds musically to the original version. If you’re curious at all about the show, I really recommend just listening to the Broadway recording instead, it’ll save you some money and about 137 minutes of boredom.

Dear DEH Cast,

(from left) Larry Mora (Danny Pino), Cynthia Murphy (Amy Adams) and Zoe Murphy (Kaitlyn Dever) in Dear Evan Hansen, directed by Stephen Chbosky.

Okay, so the story’s bad, the music’s bad, surely the cast has to be good right? You’d think that would be the case. Before I get too into the weeds here, I’ll begin with what I enjoyed. I didn’t know that Amy Adams was here, and she was a nice surprise. It’s not her most phenomenal role (she didn’t have very much to work with after all), but she’s still one of the more watchable characters of the film.

The MOST watchable performance goes to Colton Ryan (no relation), who played Connor Murphy. It goes without saying that he doesn’t have very much screen time, but he truly makes the most of what he does have. He actually served as an understudy for the role in the original Broadway production, and it shows that he has experience with the character.

The last highlight goes to Kaitlyn Dever – who you may have previously seen in 2019’s Booksmart, one of my favorite films of all time. Her character isn’t the best written, but she does bring a lot of realism to Ben Platt’s scenes, which is extremely necessary.

Dear Ben Platt,

(from left) Evan Hansen (Ben Platt) and Jared Kalwani (Nik Dodani) in Dear Evan Hansen, directed by Stephen Chbosky.

Ben Platt may very well be the worst part of this film. As mentioned before, he also played the titular role in the original Broadway production. Now, I didn’t see his Broadway performance myself, but the Tony’s and clout he earned seem to speak to how good it was.

However.

He’s not the only person who played the role. The stage production cast a new lead 4 different times, not including the national tour of the show, which featured a different actor altogether. Many people have taken the helm of the lonely high schooler who takes a lie too far. As a result, many people were confused when Platt was announced to play the character in the film adaptation.

Sure, he’s the most well known portrayer of the role, but that doesn’t mean he’s the only person who can play it for the rest of time. Take for example, the recent film adaptation of In the Heights: the character of Usnavi was initially played by Lin Manuel Miranda, someone who’s already become stereotyped with casting himself as a major role in whatever he writes. And yet, the role was instead taken by Anthony Ramos. LMM was older than he was in the initial production, and it was time to give it to someone else who deserved the spotlight.

It seems like a weird thing to be up-in-arms about, but Platt’s casting in the film seems even weirder when you learn that his father is a producer for the film, likely playing a big part in giving his son the lead role. Platt later responded to the cases against him by saying,

…were I not to do the movie, it probably wouldn’t get made. And so I think, you know, my defensive response is to want to like, go onto twitter and be like, you know ‘F you guys, like you don’t even know that like this wouldn’t exist without me.’

Never in my life have I seen something so disrespectful and egocentric from someone who was very publicly handed a lead role in a major film by his father. It does such a disservice to everyone else who has played the role on stage – one of whom I should point out is Platt’s current boyfriend – all of whom are equally as qualified to play the character again.

All of this to say, Platt’s performance is very difficult to watch. I had read that Platt would be digitally altered to appear younger (ideally to make a 27 year old appear 17). Either that article was fake, or it was done so subtly that it didn’t make a difference at all, because Platt still appears significantly older than any of the other high school students in the film.

Evan Hansen seeming like a creepy guy hanging around at a school severely changes the tone of the film. Rather than being a quirky misunderstood guy who gets caught up in wanting a life that he doesn’t have, Platt’s performance in the film instead gives us a hunched and awkward sociopath who is too egocentric to understand when he’s severely upheaving the familial lives of people who he doesn’t know at all.

I won’t even go into the issues now present Hansen’s romantic side plot with the character played by Kaitlyn Dever, an actress who just naturally looks young in general. Platt sadistically reciting all of the absurd minute details of Dever’s character who he obsessed over – of course, under the guise that these were actually the thoughts of her dead brother – is just something no one should ever be forced to sit through.

It really changes how Evan Hansen as a character will be interpreted by audiences, and it’s entirely because Platt got Daddy on the phone and decided he needed more attention.

Dear readers,

As a whole, this movie is not good. It’s absolutely minimalist stance on ‘mental health’ boils down to about as progressive someone tweeting ‘I just learned eating yogurt is a trauma response.’

I just truly cannot advise you enough to not see this. It’s not even entertaining in a “Oh I just want to see the train wreck” kind of way, it’s just not watchable at all. By the end of my screening, the audience, which was made up of the target demographic for this film, were simply laughing in embarrassment at Platt’s asinine emotional breakdown.

I assume studios were clamoring for the chance to bring this to the silver screen, but all of the negative press and negative reviews pretty much guarantee this version will be unmemorable in about 6 months.

Just go listen to the Broadway soundtrack instead.

DIS Family Reunion to Benefit Give Kids the World Ticket Giveaway!

26 August 2021 by Suzannah Otis Leave a Comment

Before we get to the DIS Family Reunion ticket Giveaway, lets talk about Give Kids the World. GKTW is such a special and amazing place, which we love to support here at Zannaland. If you’ve been following along from the start, you know we’ve donated, toured, run with, and explored Give Kids the World many times over the years. Most recently we attended the grand re-opening of Henri’s Starlight Scoops ice cream shop, where guests of GKTW can have ice cream for breakfast, lunch and dinner. We also announced the return of last year’s incredible event, Night of a Million Lights, where proceeds benefit the Village directly.

Now, another event to benefit GKTW is happening and you can win tickets to attend! The “DIS Family Reunion” (unaffiliated with Disney) is a huge Expo-style event happening over two days, bringing together some of your favorites in the world of Disney parks, with some very special exclusive experiences too.

The event is taking place September 9 & 10, at Disney’s Contemporary Resort. We’re holding a ticket GIVEAWAY to the DIS Family Reunion event! Take a look at the incredible schedule of sessions below:

Disney’s Contemporary Resort – Complimentary parking will be provided

Thursday, September 9 (For more details, visit www.gktw.org/disfam.)

Main Stage in Fantasia Ballroom

10:00 am Event Kick-Off: WDW Resort President Jeff Vahle and Give Kids The World President

& CEO Pamela Landwirth

12:00 pm Celebrity chef Art Smith

2:30 pm Attractions Actor Panel with Ron Schneider, David Danipour, Kat Cressida and more

4:30 pm Actress Jodi Benson, the original voice of Ariel from Disney’s The Little Mermaid

The Lost Bros Stage

11:00 am Stories from Disneyland’s Opening with Tom Nabbe, Bill Hoelscher and Bill Sullivan

1:00 pm Actress Linda Larkin, the original voice of Princess Jasmine in Disney’s Aladdin, and John Morris, the original voice of Andy from Pixar Animation Studios’ Toy Story

3:30 pm Common Sense Leadership with Lee Cockerell and Dan Cockerell

5:30 pm Performance by Palm Beach Society Orchestra (formerly the Grand Floridian Society)

Main Stage in Fantasia Ballroom

6:45 pm Serveur Amusant

7:00 pm Off Kilter

7:45 pm Sergio

8:00 pm Yehaa Bob

8:45 pm Sergio

9:00 pm American Martian (formerly known as Mulch, Sweat and Shears)

Friday, September 10 (For more details, visit www.gktw.org/disfam.)

Main Stage in Fantasia Ballroom

10:00 am Wheel of Fortunate Wisdom with iconic host Pat Sajak

12:00 pm Bear in the Big Blue House Reunion Panel

2:00 pm Mickey Mouse Club Reunion Panel

4:30 pm Tony Baxter discusses 50 years of theme park design with Walt Disney Imagineering

The Lost Bros Stage

11:00 am Themed entertainment expert Jason Surrell, Universal Creative

1:00 pm New York Times bestselling author Ridley Pearson (The Kingdom Keepers)

Main Stage in Fantasia Ballroom

8:00 pm Mickey Mouse Club Reunion (until 10:00 pm)

Action-packed, right? Should be an exciting couple of days of Disney fun. I’ll be there and you can be too! I’m giving away 2 sets of two tickets for both days of events during the day and night on September 9th and 10th.

DIS Family Reunion Ticket Giveaway Details:

To enter the giveaway, head to my Zannaland instagram and Zannaland Facebook page to enter the DIS Family Reunion Giveaway. (See instructions at each location.) Two random winners will be drawn, one from Facebook entries, one from Instagram on Sunday, August 29. Winner will be announced at those places and updated here on this post.

For an extra DIS Family Reunion Giveaway entry, subscribe to our YouTube channel and comment here letting me know you did.

Good luck!

REVIEW: F9 – The ‘Olive Garden’ of Movies

22 June 2021 by Chris Ryan Leave a Comment

Before we begin, there are no spoilers in this review. I typically don’t watch trailers before I see a movie, but I have since gone back and watched the trailers for F9 so this review will only explicitly mention scenes that are already publicly available.

I didn’t think we’d be at the point where I would be writing a review for a Fast and Furious movie, but here we are. Up until about five days ago, I hadn’t seen any of the films, so I binged them all before watching this one. I’m now fully caught up on the Fast Saga, and ready to discuss where F9 sits in this massive franchise.

F1: THE FAMILY

(from left) Dom (Vin Diesel) and Jakob (John Cena) in F9

The family is back together on another crazy mission, provided by Kurt Russel’s Mr. Nobody – one of the best recent additions to the cast. Dwayne Johnson is absent, as is Jason Statham, presumably due to some events that transpired in Hobbs and Shaw – the one film I didn’t see before F9. Luke Hobbs has been one of the strongest characters for me personally, so that lack of presence is pretty noticeable.

Conversely, there are some great reprisals here as well: Jordana Brewster returns, as do Bow Wow and Lucas Black (my favorite character, which I’ve heard is an unpopular opinion). But this film also brings back Sung Kang as Han, a character who already died in Tokyo Drift, came back, and died again.

According to my research, this is because Tokyo Drift actually takes place after Fast & Furious 6, and he only really “died” once – though F9 reveals that even that was just another ruse. I did not gather this at all via just watching the films, but apparently Tokyo was stuck in 2006 until about five years ago.

But that’s not the only surprising character update here. Dom Toretto, the family man himself, once turned his back on his own brother (John Cena), who has now come back with a vengeance. I like to think he was actually in every previous film, we just couldn’t see him.

F2: BACK FOR FUN

(from left) Tej (Chris “Ludacris” Bridges) and Roman (Tyrese Gibson) in F9

As a whole, F9 is a bit of a return to form for the series in my eyes. Not that I’m necessarily a long time fan, but this is definitely not one of the Fast Saga’s worst entries. 2017’s Fate of the Furious notably ditched some of the over-the-top stunts for a more reserved (if you could call Dwayne Johnson grabbing a torpedo ‘reserved’) spy romp. In a more devastating blow to fans, Fate also threw away one of the biggest aspects of the series: family. That is thankfully not the case with F9.

While Fate saw Dom turn against his new ‘family,’ in F9, we learn that once he did the same thing to his brother Jakob. I usually dislike the addition of family members late into a series who go completely unmentioned prior to their new introduction, but I wasn’t incredibly hung up on it here.

Story-wise, the Fast Saga has never been anything to write home about, at least not after the franchise reboot in 2009. I obviously wasn’t expecting anything grand here either, but I’ve seen worse. After the disaster of Fate’s story, the only place F9 could go was up. Fast and the Furious is the Olive Garden of film franchises – when you’re here you’re family. And this was perhaps the ‘family-est’ of them all.

The movie even has a few moments with Roman and Tej (who are both great here) that poke fun at the insanity of the series as a whole. Roman asks “Are we invincible?” to which the movie essentially answers, “lol.” It’s just a carefree action flick that is cool for the sake of cool and doesn’t take itself too seriously, and it’s way better because of that.

F3: FAMILIAR FOE

(from left) Jakob (John Cena) and Cipher (Charlize Theron) in F9

For me, the biggest hurdle for these films is the portrayal of their villains. I think to-date, Luke Hobbs was the only one enjoyable to watch, every other villain character has felt boring and dry, lacking an emotion that isn’t ‘Kill those people before they destroy my new tech-MacGuffin-weapon.’ Even Deckard Shaw, the villain that can’t seem to die, falls into this category for me, only really assisted by his evil British accent.

In F9, the family faces off against Cipher, the villain introduced in Fate of the Furious, played by Charlize Theron. While I thought her performance in Fate was one of the driest of them all, they really improved her here. She has a ‘smartest in the room’ energy that makes her almost seem like the mastermind villain in a great anime or an HBO series. She even has the same haircut!

The cast was fun to watch, the story was acceptable, and the stunts were once again out of this world. F9 wasn’t my favorite entry into the series, but it was a dang good one. I was anticipating making a reference to the F9 key – a button which these days has little to no default use – somewhere in this review, but F9 the film is worth more than that one joke.

F4: IN REVIEW

Jakob (John Cena, center) and Otto (Thue Ersted Rasmussen, right) in F9

So where does this put the series? That’s a good question. Just about every film since Fast Five ends in a way that could be the end of the series if it needed to. That’s the case with F9 as well, but they’ve already announced a tenth film, so it seems like it won’t be the true end quite yet.

In a series that’s so committed to retcons that they changed a film from 2006 to be set in 2014 to bring back an actor, anything can happen. I would like to see the films end before it just writes itself into the ground, but given how much money they generate, I don’t think that’ll be any time soon.

The past year or so has been rough for big blockbuster films, because they truly benefit from the biggest screen possible. F9 is definitely the great summer blockbuster that theaters have needed. Go see it in person to experience all the magic of a truck with super magnets pulling a car through a building the way it’s meant to be experienced.

Those interested in my ranking of the Fast Saga as a whole can check it out here. Or, check out another review I’ve done for this site.

After this week I can say that these movies have changed me. I am truly a member of la familia. I am secretly Dom Toretto’s first cousin twice removed. I am played by Timothee Chalamet but he’s incredibly ripped now. I drive a Toyota Prius with a V12 engine and helicopter blades on top. I will be introduced in F13: Revenge of the Cars, a movie that was filmed in 1983 but will be released in 2024 with zero context.

Closest Hotel to Disney Springs – We Explore the Wyndham Lake Buena Vista

24 November 2020 by Suzannah Otis 2 Comments

If you’re like me, you have driven by the hotels on Hotel Plaza Blvd. near Disney Springs (in my case, way back to when it was called the Lake Buena Vista Shopping Village and later Disney Village Marketplace), but never really stopped to investigate the amazing resorts that exist, minutes from the shopping and dining action. One example of that is The Wyndham Lake Buena Vista Resort Complex, which just announced the completion of its reimagination and $14 million-dollar guest room renovations and poolside dining. Even better, the rates right now are some of the lowest the property has ever seen – some nights are under $100 a night (yes you read that right).

Situated around 5 minutes (yes you read that right too) from Disney Springs, the Wyndham Lake Buena Vista and its sister property, the Wyndham Garden Lake Buena Vista are conveniently accessible by the recently installed pedestrian bridges crossing East Buena Vista Drive. No need to worry about cars in your way or waiting for crosswalks to be clear. However, if you want to park in the Disney Springs parking garages, those are really close too!

We were recently invited to tour the newly remodeled rooms and Oasis restaurant and were pleasantly surprised. For those history buffs, the Wyndham property was actually the 3rd resort to open at Walt Disney World. It has a storied history, opening as the Dutch Inn, which later rebranded as the Americana Dutch Resort, before being sold to Grosvenor and becoming the Grosvenor Resort, renamed to the Regal Sun Resort, and then merged with the Wyndham Hotels and Resorts and became what it is today. In between all of those name changes, there have been several multi-million dollar renovations, so you would never know walking into the lobby or a room, the history of the resort! The resort now features open air, socially distanced dining in the Oasis Restaurant adjacent to the new kids’ pool section of their massive aquatic center.

The two official Walt Disney World Resort hotels, the Wyndham Lake Buena Vista and Wyndham Garden Lake Buena Vista are packed with many shared amenities. This guest room renovation includes 394 newly reimagined garden-themed rooms for the value-minded guest and another 232 rooms in the upscale 19-story tower overlooking Disney Springs, which features a lake house motif.

“Just in time for your holiday vacation and weekend staycation planning, we have completed a significant transformation that has been several years in the making, said Jay Leonard, General Manager of the Wyndham Lake Buena Vista Resort Complex. We are grateful to those who have pardoned our dust as we worked with top designers and builders to create what we believe will be a great guest experience.”

See You at The All New Oasis Restaurant

Open daily for lunch and dinner, it’s ideal for everyone who wants to soak up a day’s worth of the Florida sun or simply delight in a refreshing beverage or satisfying meal while watching sports on the big screens in their all-weather dining room.

Handcrafted cocktails, frozen drinks, beer and wine selections and a delicious menu of dining options await poolside. From mouthwatering fish tacos to some of the best chicken wings in town, you will find what you seek at the Oasis Restaurant. Fresh baked pizza, a variety of burgers, sandwiches and salads are prepared to order as you relax at the pool or recharge after an early start at the theme parks. Hidden Mickey fans will also find quite a few to hunt down and spot!

Click on a photo below to enlarge and see the updated restaurant and amazing pool area:

Oasis Restaurant Exterior Wyndham LBV — Oasis restaurant

Oasis Restaurant Wyndham LBV — Seating in the Oasis restaurant

Oasis Pool Wyndham LBV — Oasis Pool area

Oasis Pool Kids Area Wyndham LBV — Interactive kids area

Oasis Cool Pool Wyndham LBV — Oasis “cool pool”

Oasis Pool Cabana Wyndham LBV — Oasis pool cabanas

Reimagined Tower and Garden Rooms

Interior Image Group drew the inspiration for the design concepts from the hotel’s lobby area, continuing the lake house theme from the tower into the garden guest rooms. These newly recreated rooms allow guests to unwind and relax with the feeling of being in their very own garden retreat.

Jamie Malays served as lead creative designer on both hotel offerings and applied her expertise using multiple fabric textures, wood finishes and a minimal color palette in the garden concept.

Wyndham Lake Buena Vista Tower Room — King room at the Wyndham Lake Buena Vista

Wyndham Lake Buena Vista Tower Room Disney Springs view — A Disney Springs view tower room at the Wyndham Lake Buena Vista

Upon entering a reimagined garden room, guests will find themselves in a serene and inviting space. The main design features are the all-white, laminate wood, built-in storage bench unit that is back lit and accented with decorative aviary hooks to hang caps and jackets. This is where functionality meets beauty; it is aesthetically pleasing, and also acts as a multifunctional storage space with room to place luggage and hideaway shoes in the under-bench area.

Hidden spaces have also been created within the built-in entertainment center, which conceal a coffee maker and mini refrigerator (much larger than the Disney value resort fridges), and come standard in each room.

Wyndham Lake Buena Vista Garden Room — Garden room at Wyndham Lake Buena Vista

The 55” TV is displayed on a backlit wood finish entertainment wall conveniently opening the space on the new quartz countertops. Maintaining the functional design, the built-in unit has an ample amount of storage space with three large drawers.

Carrying the minimalistic theme over onto the sleeping area, a soft green wood headboard awaits guests, accented with modern light fixtures. The vanity and bathroom also received a significant facelift, starting at the entrance with a new rolling white barn door and a frosted edge back-lit mirror that hangs over the spacious vanity.

The large picture windows feature a privacy and a blackout shade. The blackout shade is actually decorated with a relaxing garden motif so when closed, it looks like a beautifully pained picture on the wall.

The best part is perhaps the quick walk to Disney Springs, knowing that this beautiful room is waiting for you on your return. I was so impressed with the new room designs, and at this price point, how could you not to stay here?

Walking over to Disney Springs really reminded me of staying in Disneyland, and walking over from Harbor Blvd. to Downtown Disney. That’s a pretty common practice when staying off-property in Disneyland, so it really makes sense that it would work here in Walt Disney World Resort too! So many people want to stay in a Disney hotel, but the comfort and amenities found here are hard to beat – you still receive Extra Magic Hours, FastPass+ (under normal circumstances) and other Magical Extras.

What impressed me most at the Wyndham Lake Buena Vista was the people. Everyone we met was like family, ready to welcome you to their home. They were justifiably proud of their beautiful hotel, and the wonderful amenities it has to offer guests. It truly is a hidden secret on Walt Disney World property and definitely worth investigating for your next stay. Head to Wyndham Lake Buena Vista for more info and to book your stay today!

*Disclosure: The Wyndham Lake Buena Vista invited us out to tour their rooms and pool area, and walked us across to Disney Springs and we experienced some of the shops and dining there. You can see more on my Wyndham LBV instagram story from the day! As always, my thoughts and opinions are my own. Thank you for reading!

Hilton Bonnet Creek & Waldorf Astoria Food & Wine Weekends Return

20 October 2020 by Suzannah Otis 1 Comment

One of the best kept secrets among Walt Disney World visitors is the resorts that are on Disney property, but not Disney-run hotels. Two exceptional examples of this is the Hilton Orlando Bonnet Creek and the Waldorf Astoria Orlando. I have visited, stayed, and dined at these properties for the past 5 years or so, and am consistently impressed with the quality, service and surroundings. I understand that everyone seems to want that Disney experience, but these properties really have so much to offer, you’ll wonder why you didn’t stay here before…

Hilton Bonnet Creek lazy river — Just part of the Hilton Bonnet Creek views and lazy river

If by chance you do not know where these resorts are located…if you are coming from Disney Springs, heading toward the rest of the Disney parks, you will take a left off of Buena Vista Drive onto Chelonia Parkway. The Hilton Bonnet Creek and Waldorf Astoria Orlando are about a mile down on the right. There is a central parking garage for both properties, but you can valet at either spot too, for a fee. If you are just dining, you can have your parking ticket validated for free parking as well. You can read more about staying here in my previous Hilton Bonnet Creek and Waldorf Astoria posts. For now, though, we are discussing FOOD (and wine)!

You may recall last year I was invited out to experience the Food & Wine Weekends that the Hilton Bonnet Creek and Waldorf Orlando put on. I then went back on my own to experience it again, and I’m still thinking about that food. Food & Wine Weekends have officially returned, and though the experience is slightly modified, it is still a spectacular time. This year, Zeta Asia has sadly not reopened yet due to the pandemic. Our fingers are crossed it will be returning soon. However La Luce and Bull & Bear still have an amazing 4 or 5 course offering for the Weekends, and better still, they have full vegan menus for both locations!

La Luce^® is Hilton Orlando Bonnet Creek’s signature restaurant, inspired by famed Napa Valley chef and restaurateur Donna Scala. I have yet to have a less than stellar meal there. Additionally, the servers, bartenders, managers, and more all go above and beyond to ensure you are taken care of, you know about all of the offerings, and you are enjoying yourself. It’s something we forget exists sometimes, that servers can really go above and beyond with every guest. And yes, a few of my visits have been as an invited guest of the hotel, but others have not, and I’ve still been impressed every time. It really is worth a trip over there to experience the service and food. Here is what is included with your Food & Wine Weekends menu:

La Luce Food & Wine Weekends Menu

La Luce Food & Wine Weekends VEGAN Menu

We started our our meal at La Luce with some cocktails, but then decided to get the wine pairings as well. I will say that I am in no way a wine connoisseur or even really a wine person, however each of these pairings went so well with the menu items, it really made me consider being a wine person!

For the regular menu, there are some choices to be made from the Taste of La Luce menu. Christian chose the Bruschetta, the farfalle, and the Risotto, which came with a seared filet mignon. The other options were a roasted red pepper and tomato soup, Cacio e Pepe (an amazing dish which I included a photo of even tho Christian didn’t pick it – they serve it in a bowl made from parmesan cheese!), and a salmon filet. Then for dessert the choices are between Sugar Bombolini and a Nutella cake. He chose the Nutella cake. We aren’t including photos of all the regular menu items here because we have everything on the video.

I didn’t have any choices with the vegan menu, but I was not disappointed. Even the Spaghetti Primavera, which I wasn’t super excited about because I’m not a regular ol’ tomato sauce kind of person, was wonderful. You could tell it was made fresh in the back and bursting with flavor. The risotto was also amazingly flavored. Just the right amount of pepper added. Also, I had a lot of leftovers, which I was very happy about.

The dessert, a macaron, normally made with egg whites, was made with aqua fava (the liquid left in a can of chickpeas) and you really couldn’t tell that it was vegan at all. As you can see, the portions were huge as well. Our server also recommended we try a vegan pizza, made in their 700 degree brick oven, and it was hard not to finish the whole pizza. They used a chickpea paste in place of tomato sauce, and it made for a great flavor combination with the crispy crust. There was also an absolutely amazing sunset view, as you can see below.

La Luce digital menu — digital menu at La Luce

La Luce VEGAN Bread service — Vegan bread service and cocktails

La Luce VEGAN asparagus soup — vegan asparagus soup

La Luce VEGAN spaghetti primavera — vegan pasta primavera

La Luce VEGAN Seasonal Risotto — vegan seasonal risotto

La Luce VEGAN Limoncello maracon — vegan limoncello maracon

Hilton Bonnet Creek chandelier sunset — sunset views at Hilton Bonnet Creek

Bull & Bear has a reputation for comfortable elegance. Where you are taken care of from the moment you step food inside, and the food and drink quality match that service. Unlike some other upscale dining locations, you don’t feel out of place or stuffy in this atmosphere. You do feel like your every desire (as far as dinner goes) will be taken care of. Named one of the Top 100 Restaurants in the United States by Open Table, Bull & Bear offers a menu featuring re-imagined steakhouse classics and trend-setting fare including a signature 32-Day Dry-Aged Tomahawk Rib Eye. You wouldn’t exactly expect a place with that sort of reputation to offer a vegan option – but they DO! And, they do it well. Here is the breakdown of what’s included for Food & Wine Weekends:

Bull & Bear Food & Wine Weekends Menu

Bull & Bear Food & Wine Weekends VEGAN Menu

We started again with cocktails and bread service. Here everything but the brioche is vegan. The ciabatta bread I had was so good, it didn’t even need butter of any kind. The amuse bouche here was quite simply, amazing. I know they like their Pasta Explosion here, but to me, this was the real explosion of flavors, it was SO good. The mushroom soup was also very hearty and flavorful. The wedge salad was a little dry for both of us but I was happy to have something light in between courses.

Bull and Bear cocktails — Gold Smoke and Mary Pickford cocktails

Next up was a tomato tart for me, which was super unique in flavor and very tasty. A thick crust with chickpea sauce inside and heirloom tomatoes on top. Then, pasta explosion time. It was basically mushroom ravioli. I’m not sure if ours were just sitting there for too long or what, but they didn’t really explode for either of us in the regular or vegan version. It was quite busy and I think there was a bit of a mix up with what the 3rd and 4th courses were for us, so that may have been the issue.

Lastly, the vegan fall vegetable fricassee was my favorite. It paired distinctly fall vegetable flavors with Asian seasoning, and made for a warm and hearty combination. I want to attempt to make this at home! The dessert here was also the vegan macaron but with passionfruit sorbet inside. Of the two macaron desserts, I preferred the limoncello.

sunset at Bull and Bear — Sunset at Bull & Bear

Bull and Bear VEGAN amuse bouche — Vegan Amuse

Bull and Bear VEGAN mushroom soup — Vegan mushroom soup

Bull and Bear VEGAN wedge salad — Vegan wedge salad

Bull and Bear wedge salad — Bull & Bear wedge salad

Bull and Bear oyster rockefeller — Oyster Rockefeller

Bull and Bear vegan tomato tarte — Vegan Heirloom Tomato Tart

Bull and Bear vegan — Vegan Pasta Explosion

Bull and Bear VEGAN macaron dessert — Vegan Passionfruit and Coconut Macaron

Of the two experiences, it’s hard to pick a favorite. I think for what you get, vegan-wise, La Luce was the winner. Christian agreed for the regular menu as well. We both loved the atmosphere and surroundings in Bull and Bear though. I would go back to either in a heartbeat. In addition to my review here, Christian and I also have a fun video of our experience. We hope you enjoy watching it to see first hand what it’s like at each resort’s location. Please like and subscribe to see more of our fun Orlando and Disney vlogs!

Here is the rundown of Hilton Bonnet Creek and Waldorf Astoria Orlando Food & Wine Weekends dates and info:

October 16-November 22, 2020

Bull & Bear Chef’s Table – Fridays & Saturdays, 6pm – 10pm
Experience an exclusive multiple course Chef’s Tasting Menu for $145 (plus tax and gratuity). Suggested
wine pairings are available for $45 additional. Reservations recommended. View Menu.

Taste of La Luce – Fridays & Saturdays, 6pm – 10pm
From the kitchen of La Luce, enjoy an exclusive four-course menu for $55 (plus tax and gratuity).
Suggested wine pairing available for $30 additional. Reservation recommended.

NEW: Vegan Tasting Menus
Available at Bull & Bear and La Luce, Friday and Saturdays.

Sip, Swirl & Savor: A Wine Tasting Experience – Fridays & Saturdays, 5:30pm – 7pm,
La Luce Entrance
Regardless of your wine knowledge, this is a wonderful opportunity to enjoy samples of wine and learn
from an experienced sommelier. Complimentary.

Bonnet Creek Beer Garden – Saturdays, 4:00pm – 5:30pm, Hilton Lobby
Join us for an exclusive tour of Florida’s top craft breweries with samples of their award-winning beers.
Complimentary.

Bar Du Chocolate and Champagne Tasting – Saturdays, 6:30pm – 10:30pm, Peacock Alley
A decadent selection of à la carte chocolate treats hand-crafted by Waldorf Astoria Orlando’s world-class pastry chefs. (watch our video above for more of this amazing display!)

You can reserve any of the dining experiences at Hilton Orlando Bonnet Creek or Waldorf Astoria Orlando on Open Table. If you are vegan and want to order off the regular menu, I’d recommend letting the restaurant know ahead of time and the talented chefs will be happy to accommodate you! I’d go back just for the vegan pizza any time!

Have you stayed at either of these properties, or enjoyed their Food and Wine Weekends, or their stellar dining options?

I’d love to hear your thoughts or if you plan to check it out. Let me know in the comments below or drop me a line on social media, I’d love to chat about it! Thanks for reading.

Disclosure: As mentioned, I was hosted by Hilton for this event, but my thoughts and opinions are, as always, my own.

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REVIEW: MULAN 2020 is The Highest Budget Hallmark Movie

5 September 2020 by Chris Ryan 2 Comments

On Thursday, March 19th, 2020, I was scheduled to attend a press screening of Disney’s Mulan. I thought this would be a totally normal event – and the last screening I attended was not too long prior: The Hunt (a movie so egregiously bad I couldn’t even bring myself to review it). But on March 12th, I was informed that the screening had been cancelled as the release of the film had been postponed. Needless to say, a few other significant events have taken place since then.

Because of this, Mulan 2020 kept piquing my interest. I was already invested into the concept of the film: the original 1998 film is a classic, and while this one was certainly different, I thought the trailer looked really good. In any event, when the time finally came for its release, I couldn’t wait to take a look.

HONORING THE PAST

2020’s Mulan is a testament to Disney’s in-house production teams’ ability to make only one kind of film anymore: the high-budget, low-effort blockbuster. This is really all you can find looking back at their previous releases. From shot-for-shot live action remakes of their animated successes, to 22 superhero stories that they know will draw an audience just because of the Marvel name. They know that if the poster says ‘Disney’ on it, people will buy it, and because of that, they really don’t have to try.

So can you tell I wasn’t the biggest fan of Mulan 2020?

The movie also draws upon its recent predecessors stylistically. That is to say, even though the tone of the plot is very different, if this movie came on during a Marvel movie marathon, it wouldn’t be all too jarring. It’s shot in the same way: big establishing shots of the lush CGI world they built, faster-than-you-can-blink cuts during action sequences, and shots that are staged almost exclusively with trailers or promotional videos in mind.

I will give them this: in our home theater, we have a very good screen, and this movie was a great way to showcase that. Most of the recent releases on Disney+ are presented in 4K UHD with Dolby Vision, so even a shot of a bug crawling on the ground looks fantastic.

BE TRUE

One of the biggest headlines about this movie before it even came out was that it was a more ‘realistic’ telling of the Mulan legend. They nixed the songs, the dragon sidekick, and all the other cartoon-y choices that the 1998 version added themselves.

I was very interested in this as soon as this was announced. Yes, the soundtrack to the 1998 version is good, but it only has four songs anyway, so I wouldn’t miss them (sidenote, if you like the soundtrack of the original, do yourself a favor and research how much of a mess it apparently was to make). And while Mushu is a fun character, I’m always in favor of changing that type of thing for realism – I’m a big fan of how it was done in Aladdin on Broadway to change the monkey sidekick into three human friends of Aladdin.

However, maybe the biggest reason I was looking forward to a new take on the plot, was following the recent Lion King movie – a full blown shot-for-shot remake of the original with almost nothing added and almost nothing removed. A new telling of the story means that it’s more likely to justify its purpose as a live action remake, something that none of them have been able to do thus far.

Ultimately, this was not the result. The movie relies very heavily on its audience’s pre-existing knowledge of the original film, despite being so starkly and, honestly, harshly different from it. It’s loaded with visual references to the original. Something will happen, and the film will pause for a beat, and wait for the audience to say “Hey, that’s the thing from the original movie, I remember that!” Or the soundtrack, which, while not including the lyricized songs from the original, plays the instrumentals of them in emotional moments, so you again say “Aww, I remember that.”

I say it comes off as harsh because while the movie devotes so much time to profiting off of the audiences memory of the first, it’s also completely different plot-wise. While we hear the powerful instrumental of ‘Reflection’ from the first film, we watch our new Mulan use the force to kick arrows into the chest of a nameless enemy.

Yeah, I guess we should talk about the force.

MULAN’S MIDI-CHLORIANS ARE OFF THE CHARTS

1998’s Mulan is a movie that empowers young girls to take a stand, and shows them that even if the world says they’re of less value, they can be just as strong and powerful as those that hold them down. You would think that, in (current year), 2020’s Mulan would try to do the same. And to an extent, it does, but it does so oh-so strangely.

From literally the very first scene, Mulan is described as using Chi. Now, I’m aware that chi is a real thing in Chinese culture. It’s described as an underlying principle in traditional Chinese medicine or martial arts. And, while it is a ‘force’ that is in tune with your energy flow, the movie treats it as a midi-chlorian-style ‘force that binds us’ that can be used to grant someone jedi-like abilities in dexterity.

It’s underlying message may be one of female-empowerment, but the movie pushes very heavily that Mulan can only succeed because she has some innate supernatural ability. She is a weak fighter – everyone in the Imperial Army seems to be. But by harnessing her ‘inner Chi’ she can be ‘just as good as the men.’ It’s very bizarre, and honestly belittles her character. She’s never able to take down opponents one-on-one: every single fight she takes part in ends with her “controlling her Chi” to do a flip-kick and toss a spear or an arrow back into them.

The film even does a Revenge of the Sith-level side plot where a villain who has mastered their Chi tries to influence Mulan into joining the ‘dark side,’ so that she can realize the full potential of her power.

THE HIGHEST BUDGET HALLMARK MOVIE

Obviously I felt strongly enough about this to make it the title of the review, but it’s true. The movie is all around just pretty mediocre. We followed up our viewing of Mulan by watching 2019’s The Lion King, which, let’s just say, I’m notably not a fan of. At least with The Lion King (while upsetting that it exists), it is still just ‘The Lion King’ so it’s a fun story with fun songs and is just fun in general. Mulan 2020 is really very different from the original film in about every aspect. This upsets me, because like I said before, that normally would be a reason that I would enjoy it. But it’s different in a few too many ways.

This is a humourless, bland, movie. There is action, the music is good. It’s very pretty to look at. Most of the costumes are nice. But I don’t think I would ever bother watching it again because most unfortunately of all, it’s just boring.

This Mulan is the equivalent of, instead of watching the original film, someone just describes to you the original Ballad of Mulan upon which it is based. The pacing is very strange, so it feels like someone just telling the story in a very haphazard way. And, despite starring seasoned vets like Donnie Yen and Jet Li, the acting is notably bad. Aside from Jason Scott Lee, every actor here gives the most lackluster boring performances of their career. For some, like Jet Li, it feels like the only filmed one take before he just walked off set and they had to use it.

Because of all of this, it truly feels like a Hallmark movie in both it’s plot and it’s production. The acting is subpar, the plot and writing is very low-quality, the special effects feel rushed, the list honestly goes on.

There’s more I could say about the plot alone, like how the villains (specifically the witch Xian Lang) are legitimately the only redeemable characters. Every member of the Imperial Army and of her own family dislikes and belittles Mulan, and she relentlessly follows them to the ends of the earth regardless. Meanwhile, the villains of the movie, donned in all black, with mysterious intent and magical witch in tow, provide a Palpatine-esque alternative that actually sounds way more appealing than what any of the other characters are offering Mulan.

IN CONCLUSION

I don’t want it to sound like this is a terrible terrible movie that is not worth anyone’s time. It’s not. It’s, at worst, “okay.” But it’s also the -nth “okay” movie that Disney has released in a row, and it’s tiresome at this point. This is objectively a better film than The Lion King, for example, but it’s so boring and bizarre that that’s like saying an ant bite is better than a bee sting – I’d still rather not have either.

What makes it worse, is that it’s thirty freaking dollars – or at least $29.99. Not including the Disney+ subscription that everyone who will watch this movie undoubtedly already has. Very, very few movies are worth that much, and there is absolutely no universe at all in which this one is.

REVIEW: ONWARD is Pixar’s Step Backwards

21 February 2020 by Chris Ryan Leave a Comment

It may be bold of me to say, but in my opinion, Pixar has somewhat of a rough track record. I think they succeed pretty well at making entertaining films. But only a few have been notably exceptional. Onward is in an interesting position to review. I’m still not entirely sure whether I liked all of it or not.

THE QUEST BEGINS..

I had absolutely no expectations of this movie before watching it. I enjoy Tom Holland and Chris Pratt on their own well enough, but I hadn’t really even been following much of the promotion for the movie. Some of the art looked fun, and I really enjoyed the music choice for the trailer – which is honestly enough to sell me most of the time (and why I plan on seeing F9).

I knew I would inevitably see Onward anyway because the trailer starts with 5 letters and a little lamp jumping on screen. That’s what begins the issues with Onward for me, conceptually.

©2019 Disney/Pixar. All Rights Reserved.

The past couple Pixar releases have felt off, personally. I still haven’t seen the Good Dinosaur, I missed Finding Dory until 3 years later, Cars 3 was bad, and Toy Story 4 just felt like a tech demo for their animation interns to work on that they accidentally released.

And even though I did actually like Finding Dory, Incredibles 2, and Coco, they did still feel a bit lazy. Pixar definitely has a particular format they like to stick to – I won’t blame them, it seems to work commercially every time. But Onward is the 22nd film in their collection of releases, and honestly feels exactly the same as 98% of them.

THE CURSE

Onward seems like it missed the mark on quite a few subjects to me. The art style feels weird, to be blunt. In a world with actual magic and fantasy characters, I don’t see the need to give every character an odd humanoid face, even if they have only one absurdly large eye.

It all looks a little odd, and I wish they would’ve done something a bit more creative. The main character of the film even looks like a recolor of Linguini from Ratatouille, which is something that I would think they could avoid.

But my disagreements with the world don’t stop there. Something about the atmosphere just feels kind of cheesy and almost lame. For all intents and purposes, the setting of the film is really doing the same job as that of Shrek, which somehow seems to pull it off more convincingly. That’s a sentence I didn’t think I’d be able to write.

A LITTLE MAGIC

What I did manage to like from the atmosphere of Onward is honestly just because I enjoy the fantasy genre as a whole. It could’ve been anything on screen but if they were doing magic with wizards and pulling out D&D terms I would be on board. There is certainly a bit of charm that comes along with the Pixar touch, but I don’t think this is something that had to try incredibly hard to pull off.

And that’s my biggest issue of all – it felt pretty easy. The art style was incredibly similar to things they’ve done before (even to things the Director had made before with the studio). The score was safe and almost nonexistent in some parts.

The things the “Inclusion Team” allegedly insured were in the movie were really bare minimum and easily modifiable for foreign markets that still don’t accept characters being openly gay. All of this making it all feel very unnecessary and almost as if they were forced to include them but were graded on completion, not accuracy.

ANCIENT HISTORY

So what’s the issue, really? Well, co-star of our Up the Waterfall podcast, Scott Otis, pointed out to me that Pixar has had a couple years in the past with two releases: The Good Dinosaur and Inside Out, Cars 3 and Coco, and now Onward and Soul. So statistically, maybe I’m just not a fan of Onward so that I can be a fan of Soul.

But in all seriousness, I didn’t hate everything about Onward. There were some funny moments, and I think even Pixar’s worst is always an entertaining time. There are definitely people who will like this. But for me, it just feels like another tired attempt for Pixar to play it safe and stick to their patented Pixar-style punch-you-in-the-gut emotional coming of age stories based on half-baked “What if?” ideas.

I would love to see them do something different, and take a massive risk. With the massive budget and solid teamwork they now have, I’m surprised they’ve stuck to this format for so long. The Pixar Sparkshorts on Disney+ are an interesting first attempt at this, but none have really stood out to me on their own, and they definitely feel like something that a small team makes every month or so on their lunch breaks.

ONWARD REVIEW

Pixar used to be known for pushing the medium of animation forward with compelling new takes. Their films were a fun break from the typical cliches of family animation. Now they’re essentially pushing out Disney’s B-stories that don’t get the bigger spotlight. And sequels.

So is Pixar truly taking a step backward with Onward? It depends on how much you’re able to relate to all of their stories – for me, not a whole lot. Or how much an emotional ending is enough to convince you you liked the movie on your way out of the theater. Again, not much here for me. Maybe it just depends on how much you’re able to enjoy a kids’ movie without thinking about it too much. And clearly I can’t.

But that’s just me.

REVIEW: Look At This PHOTOGRAPH

13 February 2020 by Chris Ryan Leave a Comment

There’s a new great romantic classic to watch on Valentine’s Day this year. The Photograph is one I’m excited to review.

Regardless of me being graciously invited to this screening, I would have no doubt made plans to see this film on my own. The Photograph features Issa Rae and LaKeith Stanfield, two stars whose work has never been shy of amazing in my eyes. That fact alone was enough to sell me on it.

Luckily there was so much more in store.

A NEW ROMANCE

If you’ve seen any trailers for The Photograph, then you’ll know the basic plot – a reporter profiling a man in Louisiana finds there’s more to the story than he initially thought.

I’ll cut right to the chase, The Photograph isn’t anything incredibly groundbreaking. But it doesn’t necessarily need to be. For someone who’s always enjoyed this type of movie, The Photograph really worked. It’s the kind of movie that helps you remember what’s important, what’s worth committing to, and what’s worth sometimes leaving behind.

The romance genre is ready for another powerhouse like The Notebook, and I think The Photograph could fill that position. If nothing else, I at least appreciate the growing list of romantic films named after everyday items.

Of course it wouldn’t be a review by me if I didn’t mention the soundtrack, and this one was nice. There’s not very much in the way of a score (though what was there I did enjoy), but the actual songs used throughout really add to the overall mood. It’s something to get you in the mood that you can just vibe to, and felt very natural.

A GRAND PERFORMANCE

As I hinted at before, I’ll see literally anything with LaKeith Stanfield. And I’m a big Issa Rae fan too. Their performances in this were top notch.

The connection they had was genuine, and you felt as if they had actually been through this, and were experiencing this in real time. I honestly would not have been surprised if I had walked out of the theater, opened twitter, and saw they were actually dating. They felt that real.

And they weren’t the only ones! Rob Morgan and Chanté Adams have great chemistry too. Their characters add a surprising amount of depth that I didn’t anticipate, but certainly appreciated.

To top it off, when the movie was funny, it was funny. The whole cast felt like they had experience in comedic roles for the stage – that is to say, the pacing of the comedic moments felt really great, which is something that usually I can’t say for mainstream comedy.

THE PHOTOGRAPH

Overall, expect to laugh, expect to cry, and expect to enjoy it. There are some movies I see where I just get to enjoy them, and writing a review for The Photograph was one of those times. January is always a fun time at the theaters because it’s right after the heavy awards season, and movies can just be movies for fun. And this one was certainly fun.